Tik Toc and Darwin awards

Today, I learned about a trend called Vabbing.  Thanks that is to the video which I have attached to this post.  I know that people are under pressure to perform, but this surprised me.  It does make me think if the way to eliminate the world of gullible people is to flood Tik Toc with fatal fads...

Liz Truss and how things were not her fault

It is unbelievable that the woman who was Prime Minister for 45 days has no insight of the way she crashed the economy. 

Apparently, things would have been better if civil servants had not acted as a break on how she had wanted to things. 

Yesterday, The Newsagents and The Rest is Politics covered this. Once again, parody and reality are hard to keep apart. 

James Cleverly and jokes

I am in a strange situation where I am backing James Cleverly. There has been outrage over a joke he made, this being a Date Rape one about his wife. 

According to reports first published by the Sunday Mirror newspaper, Mr Cleverly told some guests there that “a little bit of Rohypnol in her drink every night” was “not really illegal if it's only a little bit.” It also says he laughed that the secret to a long marriage was ensuring your spouse was “someone who is always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there.”

I understand that some people will be offended by the joke, especially when it is reported out of context, but like many jokes, such as that which Jimmy Carr got into trouble before, it needs to be viewed in context

Rosie Holt: The Woman’s Hour

My wife and I have gone out a bit this bank holiday weekend. On Friday we went to a comedy show at The Mercury Theatre, on Saturday we went to see Rosie Holt and last night we went to a quiz night at a local pub. 

My son has been out with his friends, and while a trip to the visiting fair was being considered, he and his friends stayed in town instead. 

My daughter has had her first paycheque as she is now working part time where I work. She joked that her views on taxation are now to change and she is going to vote Conservative when she gets the chance. At least I think she was joking. Anyway, she now has enough money to buy her friends decent birthday presents. Not that shopping is on her mind as she has been enjoying the sun by revising in the garden.

I had my annual appraisal and one of my goals was to beat my walking target from last year, which has meant that I have been trying to walk more since then and have been using the weekend to do so. Yesterday my daughter and I walked about with Leia in a new area for the three of us.

Going back to the comedy, Kate McGann started us off on Friday, introducing Jamie D’Souza and then Michael Odewale. My wife had picked seats at the front and while all the front row were asked questions by Kate McGann, it was in a nice way which still got a few laughs. That was a good night and set the bar for Saturday.

On Saturday we went to visit a friend in Ipswich before the comedy show. The town was buzzing as Ipswich had just won promotion back to the old second division. I liked the show more than my wife, but we both did enjoy it. I was surprised to find that I have been blocked on Twitter by Sooz Kempner, for what I do not know. But both were great and the show is worth watching if you are interested in politics and like Rosie Holt.

Now to look up holidays for later this month…

We Got This and Dylan Moran

My wife and I have been looking forwards to this.  Sadly, it did not match up to previous comedy shows or even the past performances of Dylan Moran.  At best I would describe this as the ramblings of a previously articulate drunk interspersed with  great insights which would have been better for the heckling.  But some of his responses to heckling were the funnier parts of the show.  We did like bits of it, but both agreed that we were expecting a lot better.  While he says that he was boring sober, I would have loved to have seen him perform sober as I suspect the show would have been better had he done so.  While I get ready for sleep, we are watching some of this past performances on YouTube to reassure ourselves that he was funnier in the past.  Ultimately, the attitude of Dylan Moran is that I doubt he cares for the opinions of those who felt he could be better as many did love him.  I could have a go at the worse hecklers for moving seats to be closer to us, but I had taken us to the wrong seats earlier and we had to move to the correct ones before the show started.  Oops! 

Our son looked after Leia while my daughter continued to revise for her seven exams this coming week.  We had offered to take both out to lunch, but he opted to stay at home while my daughter accompanied us to The Whalebone.  We enjoyed our meal, though my wife and I felt that more seasoning would have improved our main courses.  My daughter did feel too full to finish her dessert, which was great as I got to finish it for her!  We helped her revise by testing her on questions that she asked but I ended up in a slight disagreement over Colour Constancy.  I said A and B are the same colour below, she disagreed.  To be fair, in her exercise book, they were not, but if you zoom in on this image and crop the squares, they are.

Reginald D Hunter

 

Had a great night of comedy. I have to be honest, not as good as when we saw Shaparak Khorsandi and Esther Manito but it was still a great night. I would like to think it would have been even better had it not been for the heckler, who ended up having to be removed, but looked unwell when taken away. That seemed to put the main act off his stride a bit. Some of the jokes were pushing the limit and if you are easily offended, do not watch him. If you are willing to accept that a joke about a subject is just a joke, then it is worth going to see him.  I do feel guilty that I did not get back home in time to take my wife there for a meal, but we ate crisps and nuts and afterwards, got a kebab.  Such is the high life!

The Batman

We watched this as a family, minus my son of course as he is too young. My expectation when it comes to superhero films is that the Marvel ones will be good (ignore Blade 2 & 3) and the DC ones will be bad (which is why I have not bothered to watch the second Wonder Woman film).  This was a good film to watch and I would even watch it again if it was on television,

Robert Pattinson has had practice brooding from the Twilight films, but here he did it so much better,  Cat Woman was amazing though I do feel that her physique was unhealthy, and I discussed the portrayal of what I consider to be anorexia in the media with my daughter afterwards.  Another bit that bugged me was being able to rid a motorbike in the rain, but apparently helmets are not affected by the rain if they are good well maintained ones.  

If Pattison is to star in sequels, I will look forward to them, so long as the director and producer's are as good.

It Was The 90s!

Last night, my wife and I went out to see some live comedy.  She had booked this a while ago and it certainly was worth it.  We both love live comedy and we are lucky to live in Colchester where we can access this.  Watching it during the time of the pandemic makes me nervous, and we were one of the few to be wearing masks most of the time, a fact mentioned in the show, but it was great.  When we booked, we did not know that Esther Manito was on as well.  I thought that I had seen her before and while she has been on television, I do not think that I have.  Which is a shame as she was brilliant and she is one to follow in the future.  The video will add unneeded context to one part of her show, but it was nice afterwards to understand the context, and even better to watch the excerpt!

As for the main event, she was great as well.  To paraphrase her, the show had material that I had not seen on YouTube.  I have watched her on television and listened to her on the radio, but watching her live was even better!  We were very glad that they came to Colchester and hopefully will get to watch them again if they return in the future. 

Jimmy Carr (again)

Right, I have watched his show.  I loved it.

As I have stated before, my wife and daughter do not consider him to be funny and they find most of his jokes to be offensive and out of order.  They are not prudes and would be considered by many to have a slightly twisted sense of humour.  

His joke about how The Holocaust included the Roma Gypsies was 54 minutes into his set. After his joke, he also explained why he made it. Before then he had made jokes about rape, mental health, child abuse and so many other taboo subjects which many on the internet appear not offended by.

My daughter and wife do not just dislike Jimmy Carr, they consider the humour of Frankie Boyle to be offensive to.  

I still love both, they bring a huge smile to my face.  I understand why people do not like comedians like them, especially if they are the subject of their jokes. I do not understand why others who are not in the groups affected only pick on one subject that they joke about when they cover so many inappropriate topics.  And I do not think that either should be cancelled or censored based on what I have seen of both.

The Voyeurs

First of all, family.

A trip to see both grandmothers (and one grandfather) took place.  When we saw my mother we also got to see my brother and his girlfriend who had just got back from a trip to Portugal.  He was disappointed that his favourite member of our family had been left at the dog sitters.  We could have taken her, but she is still recovering from her operation.  It was great meeting his partner, we have heard lots about her and she appeared really nice.  It is hard of course to get to know someone in the few minutes that we met her, and my wife warned me not to misbehave.  My kids were a bit stressed out by my mother as she talked about biology and I steered the conversation into areas they preferred were ignored.  After, we went to see the parents of my wife and had lunch there.  The interaction that the kids have with their three grandparents is different and today it was interesting to see it.  

The rest of the family enjoyed lunch more than I did.  Tom, Dick and Harry’s looked amazing. The pasta that my daughter had was much nicer than my burger, and she enjoyed the scallops than I had for a starter.  My son loved his food as did my wife.  I guess if we are in the area, we might return, but I would prefer to try somewhere else.

Anyway, we are now at home.  Her dog minder (who used to be a vet nurse) said that she appears to be in discomfort still, and we also see that as she is not as active at home as she normally is.  A problem is that we have been told to stop her from jumping on things or running about to help her heal.  From our experience with our children when they were younger means that we think that she will jump and run about if she is not in pain.  

I am about to start the ironing but before I do this, I will just post on the film I watched yesterday.  Many consider The Voyeurs to be an implausible film, and in part, they are right.  My daughter warned me that it does not start as well as it ends.  It is a rude film with lots of flesh coming together, but once I get over how annoying one character is, I actually enjoyed it.  A perverted film that has an interesting message (which my daughter has not acted on), I would watch it again.

   

Jimmy Carr

First of all, not much an update on the children since earlier I the week.  I have been torturing them with this puzzle, but both have solved it now.  Leia is recovering well from her operation but is not yet back to normal.  I have been watching Killing Eve with my daughter. Not sure that it is appropriate for her to watch it, but if she does kill me in the future we can look back to this post to show that it was my own fault.

Onto Jimmy Carr.  He has been facing a lot of comments about his holocaust joke about Roma Gypsies.  I initially stated  that those who are outraged by it appeared okay with his jokes about rape, incest, cancer, race and abortion, but I remembered that those groups affected by his jokes have every right to be offended by him.  I also forgot that my wife does not find him funny, just as she does not find Frankie Boyle or Little Britain to be acceptable, stating that they are too cruel.  She has a point and we accept our differences with this, just as I accept that my children are unlikely to every like them as well. But, Jimmy Carr is an equal opportunity offender and no one is spared.  I do understand the outrage this week, but does that mean that those who are not affected by prejudice towards the Roma community or other travellers, were okay with his other jokes? 

Semi-isolation

It is quite strange that my son is in isolation, but the rest of us are not.  My wife, son and I went to Ipswich this morning to have our PCR tests.  She and I need them so that we can continue to work (assuming we test negative) on a face to face basis.  My son sat in the back wearing his face mask for the trip, other than when he did his test.  Afterwards, I worked from home, my work day having had to be changed at short notice to allow this.  

My daughter has felt nervous about her brother and also is wary of spending time around us, only being downstairs with us for a short period of time before returning to her room where she had less risk of infection from the rest of us.

If my wife and I test negative, we can return to work having daily tests.  If my son tests negative, I am not sure how we will feel as the evidence is that if you have a positive lateral flow test, then you have COVID.  

On the plus side, he does not appear too unwell and hopefully, that will continue.  His main concern is that he will infect the rest of us, though him keeping his bedroom door shut would help to protect us!

Contagion

Three things to discuss in this post. The film, the family and the innocence of President Trump.

First of all, the film.  Contagion is a film I was not able to watch before.  Being a healthcare worker, I get anxious seeing patients because any of them may have COVID.  Some are more blasé than others about this, and seeing both high and low risk patients sets my nerves on edge.  I decided to watch it because of how Matt Hancock said that it taught him things.  Watching it, I can see how.  Back in 2011, while governments were looking at pandemic influenza as the cause of a global crisis, this looked at a cross over infection as being the cause of a pandemic.  It identified the risks posed to those around infected people, and also the fatal consequences for healthcare workers (which is why it was good that I did not watch it sooner).  It even dealt with how people would endanger lives by spreading fake news.  Eerily accurate, it is almost as if someone had a crystal ball in 2011, but saying that, training since Swine Flu has influenced this film.

Next, the family.  My wife got some flowers yesterday for Valentines Day which I did not get to see until today as I got home late last night.  They look amazing but I am worried about who sent them.  We had to go to Mersea Island as part of my job as I had to visit an undertakers.  Thanks to COVID bodies are being moved out of Colchester due to issues storing them.  Later we dressed up for a meal while listening to music from the 70’s and 80’s.  It was nice all of us talking and chatting together.  My dressing up was marred by two scars which Leia gave me this morning on my nose.  The one on the left side was from the morning when she greeted me and got overexcited, the other was when she helped my daughter when we had a play fight.

Trump has been found innocent of inciting a riot.  The attack on the capitol buildings in the US was planned and premeditated, but despite the rhetoric leading up to it, he was deemed innocent.  Which means that Biden should be able to do what he likes in the last few weeks of his presidency.

And last of all, a joke...

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Samantha?” She answers, “My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He says yawning is contagious.”

“Excellent work, Samantha! Very creative,” the teacher praises. “Okay, one more volunteer.” Little Johnny raises his hand. “Yes, Johnny?”

“Well,” he says, “I was helping my dad in the yard last week, and we saw the neighbor painting his house. He was using a small brush, so I asked my dad, ‘Daddy, why is he using such a small brush?’ and he says, ‘I don’t know son, but it’s gonna take that contagious.'”

There is no night without a dawning

No winter without a spring
And beyond the dark horizon
Our hearts will once more sing ….
For those who leave us for a while
Have only gone away
Out of a restless, care worn world

Into a brighter day

One of my children wished my death upon me tonight.  

Needless to say they were not in a good mood with me.  I defended them against their mother, over a minor difference of opinions, but they decided to take things up a notch and made some statements what required to be challenged.  It can be argued that I could have challenged them tomorrow, but I do not know what time I will be back from work tomorrow, so I dealt with them then.  The thing is that the child admitted that they were wrong, but then decided to redefine back and while and ignored the admission that they had made.  Saying that their mother had made no sacrifices for them was the issue, though later they said that their mother did not need to have made any sacrifices.

As a parent, we will make sacrifices for children.  I do not want to be thanked for all, and yes, some are not going to be appreciated by children, but some are, and the refusal of this child to acknowledge that made me see red.

They did hit and kick me, but I still love them, and told them so.

On a more positive note, Leia loved the snow, this video being taken when there is a light dusting.  A lot more fell and she kept wanting to be taken out, just so she could play in it.  In the end, we tied her lead to items so she could be in the snow, but she preferred to be with us so wanted to come back in.  Playing with me can be interesting as she does view me as her fight partner as well.  Saying that my daughter and I took her for a walk on a cold snow swept part of Colchester.  It was so cold, but Leia loved it.  Sadly, it did not tire her out.

Other than the end of the weekend, I would say it was a much needed rest.  I do feel guilty that I did not vaccinate at work this weekend like so many of those I work with did.  But not so guilty that I had volunteered before.  

Anyway, I hope you like these videos, one to make you laugh, and the others on the topic of my child wanting me to die.

Sloth

I am frustrated.  I went for a walk yesterday as well as on Saturday.  But yesterday, my walk was not as long as before and my aim was to go for a walk later with one of the children.  My daughter has been out for a walk on most days during lock-down, but has not been for one recently.  My son on the other hand has rarely left the house.  My daughter prefers not to walk with me, and is fond of going for walks by herself.  I am okay with that, so long as she stays to areas where other people are.  But my son got my hopes up.  I had discussed this issue with my wife and she gave me some advice.  So I asked me son if he would like to cycle to his school.  He said yes, but he wanted to cycle more.  But when the time came, he backed out.  I am seriously concerned that this will be an issue when he returns to school as I am not sure that he will have the stamina to make it. And while at times he will say he wants to exercise, there is an excuse why he cannot do so on the days that he initially agrees to do so.

Anyway, yesterday we watched the first part of Ready Player One.  We started as a family, but my wife decided it was not for her.  And then my son decided to play on the Switch instead.  So my daughter and I continued to watch it until we both got tired and had to go to bed.

And on that note, have a quarantined good night.

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

Good day to you all.  Mothers day today went well, mostly.  After a lie in, as the clocks had gone forwards by an hour, our son came in with the present he had made.  My daughter though was not in as good a mood as we would have liked.  She did improve, but rather than her making her mother one of her morning cups of tea, I did.  Things did improve as they day went on with a trip to Manningtree to have lunch at a restaurant we had been to before.  At present, it is one of the favourite restaurants of my wife, and it was worth booking it.  I almost had not booked it in time, but it did work out well.  A relaxed lunch was followed by a trip into town to shop and look at the new sculptures in Colchester and also, while my wife was enjoying the wares, the kids and I walked about town collecting Pokéballs and catching Pokémon.  But, she did not have to make any food, other than preparing the burgers which I had cooked, and a bit of shopping, which I had said I would do (honest).  I would love to post more, but it is late.  I think it is important to say at the end, that the kids were great though my daughter hated her red dress!

And here is something that might bring a smile to your face.

Trees Everywhere

A policeman pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.

"Miss, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh, officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up, and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left, and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right, and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Miss... that's your air freshener."

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

My Mum has kindly come up for half term which has meant that my wife and I were able to go out to a birthday party last night.  And we danced and danced and did I mention that we danced last night?  On the way to get my mother, while I was at work, my son, when playing Pokémon, dropped the iPhone of my wife, into a puddle.  Luckily he survived, as did the iPhone.  My Mum had brought up the kids a magnetic dart board which they were eager to play on, but I did not have the time to look at it.  I have to admit, when I heard that she had brought a dart board, I thought it was one with proper darts, and the images of darts in the head of my kids came to mind, but I should have had more faith in my mother.  After all, she brought up me and my two brothers, essentially by herself and we are intact still!

So this morning, we got things ready for lunch, and before lunch my mother and the kids went for a walk to the shops.  I keep trying to get them to exercise and while normally we would ride our bikes, I felt it was important to spend time with my mother.  Later today, we got to play darts, and though there was a slight argument doing so, things improved.  And we got to watch The Voice again.

And last of all, with chess, one more tournament has been completed since my last post on this topic.  This time, I finished at what I consider to be a respectable 167th, which does not sound too good, but it was in a tournament featuring 1419 players.  However, I have not done as well in my recent matches and my rating has dropped.  But I am still learning, as are the kids (though reluctantly).



And this might make you laugh.

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian.
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. You must be the person who took our phone book."

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

Hello all. 

Cycling was not as good as it was earlier in the week when I went to work in the morning, nor was I up to targets that I had met last year but I am going to blame the wind for that.

But after a few hours at work, it was back home where we went down to a trip to London.  We ate in East Ham as we were starving, before doing some shopping there and then later popped into see my mother.  My mother-in-law did try making contact with us in the day as well, but decided to FaceTime us when we were in the car with no WiFi connection to use.    Anyway, my mother loved seeing the kids.  It was great as not only did my wife and I have a much appreciated chance to recharge our batteries, we also looked through a collage of old photos of the children.  And yes, it reminded us of how quickly they grow, and how lucky we are to have them.  

With chess, another tournament has been completed, and sadly, this was one there I had not done as well as I wanted.  But every game is a learning experience.  And I may get to watch the Arsenal game.  I did not mean to find out the score before watching Match of the Day, but thanks to FaceBook, my joy at watching it without knowing has been spoiled. 





And this might bring a smile to your faces if you don't like the videos from The Voice.

A bloke goes into a pub with a glum face and the barman says "Wassup?"

The bloke says "I'm in the doghouse"

"Why's that?" says the barman

"I didn't open the door for the wife"

"Hardly the crime of the century" says the barman

"I know, says the bloke, I just panicked and swam for the surface" 

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

Life has been interesting for the children, they are off school and at present they seem to love it. And most of the time they appear to be getting on.  Which is great for my amazing wife who has to look after them most of the time.  On Saturday, as normal, I went to work, but instead or working around East Anglia has I have been doing for the last few years, I am now catching up on paperwork in my normal job.  While it means that I am still working, it means that it is closer to home, which means that I can use the bike that I had bought years ago to ride to work.  Which I feel is great for me as this means that I am getting fitter.  While I still may have a heart attack or stroke, it means that statistically, I am more likely to survive it.  But it is the enjoyment at doing this as well which is amazing.  And of course, the children now ride their bikes, which means that they are becoming healthier, though I have not had the chance to ride with them recently.

So, on Saturday, after getting back from work, we went to a friends where we were going to have lunch, but for one reason or another, things did not work out that way.  Later that day, it was off to another friends.  There in addition to dinner, we did have wine and a drink that I have not had for ages, absinthe.  Come the morning, while my wife wanted us to have a day in Mersea, instead we stayed at home and did some much needed gardening.  The kids got to play in the inflatable pool, though I am not sure this is something that can be used again, and they helped us while the garden got some TLC (it needs a lot more).  Apart from one event where my daughter attacked my son, things were great between them.
 As I type now, the kids are in bed.  My mother-in-law has come to help us while we are working, and the kids have watched the BFG today.  Anyway, it is time for me to get some sleep, so good night!

Mrs. Green lived in two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous. “John”, she called to her son “do me a favor and go find out how old Mrs. Robinson is.” So six year old John went down the stairs and knocked on Mrs. Robinson’s door. “So how is she?” asked Mrs. Green when John came back up. “How is she?” repeated John “I’ve never seen her so mad in my life, she said it’s none of your business how old she is.”

Our Bank Holiday Weekend so far

It has been a great weekend so far.

Yesterday we went to Mersea.  I was hoping to go to work and then have the weekend free, but after getting the worst haircut in the world and then having breakfast in The Bungalow Diner, we went out to travel to the seaside.  I had thought that as it looked cold, that it would be better to travel further away so that if it was cold, that we could do other things than freeze on the beach.  My wife however, like on many occasions, was right, and I was wrong.  It was great to go there.  Despite it being a bank holiday weekend the sun came out and it was a great day.  Watching the waves come in was relaxing and we spent time wondering on the beach and also going to get ice cream and playing in the park.  And as you can see from the picture, one of them (my daughter) found a remnants of a dead crab.  The interesting thing was that my wife pointed out that the children have practically grown up there, and it is true.  My old blog has at least one post on this, and like the post featured there, we went to see if we could eat at the West Mersea Oyster Bar.  As usual, parking there was an issue, but there is a new car park down the road where we parked (my daughter had to guard the car for a few minutes), and we had a great meal.

Today though we went to a different beach.  Our friends Isobel and Tony let us come over to Walton-on-the-Naze and visit them in the beach hut that they use with their kids.  We have been there in the past and it was just as great to be there again.  My son loved the pier and when he did finally come back with the two teenagers who were brilliant in looking after him, he brought some of the items that he said he had won.  In the meantime, my daughter and I went for a walk allowing my wife to rest her knee, which while better is not back to full fitness.

The next thing to post is how I have been doing in chess.  My record of some of the tournaments I have lost includes
Premium Member Open #3
ruy lopez tournament
Top of the Pops 17
Space 8
Speed King #132 - Very fast players 3(2)->1 U1500

Now I have to get some rest as I do intend to wake up early tomorrow morning and cycle to work.  Good night!

PUPIL – “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
TEACHER – “Of course not.”
PUPIL – “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”