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Saturday 12 September 2009

But it is not ABBA!


Evening all.  It has been far too long since my last post.  Right now I am sitting with my daughter at the table waiting for her to eat listening to a playlist on the (ugh, spit) iPod of her songs.  Last weekend, when I played it, she threw her head back and wailed "But it's not ABBA!" which she loves after watching Mamma Mia.  (A film that really straight men should be banned from having to watch.)

And now, by the time I found the links for the paragraph above, she has given up eating.  We have a rule, you do not have to eat everything on your plate, but you do not get dessert if you have not.  TO be fair, she has eaten loads today, while her brother seemed to have held out today for dinner which he gulped down!  

Anyway, have to go.  Hope you all are well.  And that you like the joke below...


Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

This was an actual question given on a University chemistry mid term exam.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it now.

The student wrote the following:

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during fresher’s week that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and taking into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven - thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"