After a terrible start to 2012 for Arsenal, an injury crisis and confidence at an all time low, there seems to be hope on the horizon and some good news at last. Squillaci is injured.

Sigh.  We lost again.  And unlike our manager, I do not think that we were unlucky.  I went out with my wife last night, and had got back into a good mood by the time that we left.  Needless to say I was annoyed with the results.  I knew that Sunderland would be a hard match and I was surprised to get the three points last weekend there.  And I can not blame this one on a lack of pace as both our pacy players were on the pitch. And we still lost.

Anyway, to today.  The kids loved spending the morning with my mother, which was great as my wife and I needed the rest after an enjoyable night out.  (We got to play table football!)  Woke up to find my mother reading them story after story after story.  They had tried to be quiet, but lets face it, they are kids, and small ones at that.  So they failed.  But, once I woke up, I took the kids downstairs and my wife got some more sleep.  Later, my Mum wanted a walk with the kids (it was a beautiful day) so my son used his scooter and my daughter her bike, to get to the shops.  They loved that, they being the kids as well as my Mother.  Later we went to see one of my uncles, who I have not seen in ages, literally years (my fault really) and the kids, were really well behaved and then spent time with one of my cousins who was brilliant keeping them occupied.  The picture above is one that my daughter made then.

Anyway, time to go, hope you all take care.

Despite losing 4-0 in Italy to AC Milan , Wenger claims he is not angry and feels that the Arsenal players did work hard during the game... And as a reward for their hard work he has bought them all a ticket for a ride on an Italian cruise ship.

Afternoon all.  I am still in shock after the abject display by Arsenal during the week.  I have yet to switch on the FA cup game against Sunderland.  I am not too optimistic.  While at work, some have laughed at me, worse, I have got loads of sympathy!  If only both Oxlade-Chamberlain and Walcott and played from the start.

Anyway, I have my mother up today.  The kids are loving it.  Tonight, we get to go out, my Mother kindly agreeing to baby sit.  Tomorrow, no doubt I will have a headache.  Right now they are quiet.  Which normally means trouble, but today it is because they are playing with Lego.  The picture above has been drawn by my daughter.  I have decided to post more of what both of them draw up here on the blog.  Take care all...

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Evening all. I am watching Arsenal lose. Which is annoying. When the draw was made, I felt it was a good draw. I think that the team does better when we play against teams that play football against us. Unfortunately, it has not been the case today. We have not played with the pace that stretches teams, and more importantly, tires them out. With two great players with pace, I would have thought that we would have torn AC Milan to shreds. Unfortunately, only one of them started the game, and he has now been taken off. It does not look good even though the other is a sub.

Anyway, today. As noted yesterday, we had been thinking about travelling to Legoland, only to find out that it is closed this month. So instead, we went to Woburn Safari Park. The kids did not know where they were going, and they loved it. The drive there was interesting. A lorry crashed on the M25 so we had to make a few detours, both on the way there and as there was still traffic issues on the way back as well.  When we arrived, the kids loved it. 

Anyway, we are back now.  Tired and the kids are in bed.  My wife is upstairs having decided not to watch the match, which is great in someways as she would just be laughing at me.  Just like the laughs that will happen tomorrow...

And something to make you laugh.

Knock knock
"Who's there?"
"Doorbell repairman."

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Alzheimers.
Alzheimers who?
Knock knock...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gestapo.
Gestapo who?
VE WILL ASK ZE KVESTIONS! *SLAP*

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
Who's there?
Parkinsons

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
No, Doctor Shipman. Is your gran in?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Jade.
Jade who?
See. You've forgotten her already!!

Knock knock
Who's there?
I give up
Ah, you're French then.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Jehovah's Witnesses
Sorry no one’s in.

knock,knock
Who's there?
Josef Fritzl; and I told you never to answer the door.

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Not good. Tomorrow, I am not going to work. I said that I would be taking my daughter and son to Legoland. Turns out it is closed...

(Bangs head on table.)

Thierry Henry, Achieving in one month what Fernando Torres has failed to for a year.

Morning all.  It is a lovely Sunday morning, the snow making Colchester look pretty.  The kids though are still not too keen on a snowball fight.  Half term is coming up and it means that there is going to be loads of fun for all!  Well not me, as I will be at work getting much needed rest.  I love my kids, but they do tire me out.  At the moment, they are having a tea party and my wife has gone upstairs to rest.  She will need it more so this week.  I was at work last night and the kids decided to dice with death by not eating the food that was given to them for dinner.  The thing is that they do appreciate the food that they are given.  Sort of.  When at friends houses, they moan (quietly) if the food is not as good as that my wife makes, and she makes great food.  Anyway, this is just a quick post before I watch the Arsenal game.  Enjoy the jokes...


Aaron Ramsey scores, 1 day later Bin Laden DEAD.
Aaron Ramsey scores, 1 day later Colonel Gadaffi DEAD.
Aaron Ramsey scores, 3 days later Steve Jobs DEAD.
Aaron Ramsey scores, that night Whitney Houston DEAD.
I'd hate to think what would happen if he scores a hat-trick

The FA confirm they are looking for replacement to be English with hands on experience with premiership players
Danielle Lloyd is now 2/1 favourite

What's the difference between Father Christmas & Fernando Torres?
Millions still believe in Father Christmas.

Following recent trends, the FA simply need to find someone else that's completely shit at looking after England now that Capello has gone. Am I the only one thinking David Cameron?

I've spotted Chelsea's cunning plan.
You don't have to worry about UEFA financial fair play rules if you're not in Europe.

So Alex Ferguson said that 'Suarez should not play for liverpool again because he did not shake hands with Evra.'
Instead he should've done a kung-fu kick into the crowd, it would've been ok.

Torres was really asking questions of Everton on Saturday.
Like 'Can you move your keeper out the way, I'm trying to score?'

A dog named Rosie has just placed a £500,000 bet for Harry Redknapp to become next England manager

England manager (to be) Harry Rednapp has announced that he thinks he can handle the Euros - as long as they are 'unmarked and untraceable'

Evening all.  Just realised, I forgot something about my son's card from his female admirer.  My wife was asking him if he was going to give anything in return back to her.  He searched, and using 'manvision' found a gift, and handed it to my wife.  It was his sisters sunglasses.  To be fair, the young girl would probably have liked it...




Despite rumours claiming John Terry will be completely dropped from the England squad, Terry remains adamant that he will be going to Poland this summer. If not with the England squad, then with his new Klan mates where they'll be taking in the sights at Auschwitz and Stutthof.

The FA have turned down Harry Redknapp for the England manager's job because of his wage demands.
They were fine with the 6 million pounds a year, they just couldn't find a brown envelope big enough to fit that many used fivers in. 

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark? Frost bite

Evening all.  It has been a cold and slippery time.  I have been tired since my late night drive home, but am getting my energy levels back.  And to think I was meant to be more relaxed after having a week off!

Well, the kids still seem to like the snow.  My daughter has taken part in snow ball fights at school, well so she says.  During break, none of the kids are allowed to throw snowballs, but she claims that she threw one in the morning before school.  If that was true or not...  The roads are starting to become less icy.  Note, this is not a moan, driving on ice is an experience, one that I know stresses many and while there are those who say that more should be done to clear the ice, most will not be willing to pay the increased taxes that would be needed to fund such actions.  (Sorry, slight political rant.)  The family casualty has been my wife who slipped on Monday walking back from school with my son after dropping my daughter off.  He moaned that she had hit him in the head, ignoring the pain that she was in on the floor as she was clutching at her sprained ankle. 

And on the topic of my son, he was given a card today.  From a girl with lots of kisses.  Her mother did not appear to be too pleased when I asked if it was a Valentines card!

Anyway, knackered, time to go.

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules of dealing with women. At last this points guide will help you to understand just how it works.

AIM:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's just the way the game's played.

Here's a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed ...............................+1

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1

You leave the toilet seat up....................-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty... 0

When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex...-1

You go out to buy her extra-light pantie liners with wings...+5

in the snow.....................................+8

but return with beer............................-5

and no liners..................................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night.........0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing... 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5

You smash it with a cricket bat...................+10

It's her cat...................................-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire evening........... 0

You stay by her side for a bit, then go and chat with a mate from the pub...-2

Called Tiffany......................-4

Who is a lap dancer................-10

With breast implants...............-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday............................... 0

You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0

You take her out to dinner.............................. 0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1

Ok, it is a sports bar................................-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night.........................-3

It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is

painted the colours of your favourite team...-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a mate....................................... 0

The mate is happily married..........................+1

The mate is single...................................-7

He drives a Ferrari.................................-10

With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a see a film..........................+2

You take her to a see a film she likes................+4

You take her to a see a film you hate.................+6

You take her to a see a film you like.................-2

It's called Death Cop III.............................-3

Featuring Cyborgs that eat humans.....................-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly...................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and

baggy shirts...-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding......................-10

You reply, "Where?".............................-35

You reply, "No, I think it's your arse".........-100

Any other response..............................-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression.............0

You listen, for over 30 minutes..........................+5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.... +50

You're mind wanders to football and you suddenly hear her saying

"well, what do you think I should do?".........-100

You have fallen asleep.............................-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

You talk.........................................-100

You don't talk...................................-150

You spend time with her..........................-200

You don't spend time with her....................-500

You are seen to be enjoying yourself.....GAME OVER - YOU LOSE