Sky News - Maradona hit by bus. British driver set to recieve M.B.E

What Diego Maradona lacked in brains, he made up for in speed.
And Cocaine.

Not that I am bitter.  A truly great player, who scored one of the best goals I ever saw.  After the cheating git scored with a handball.  A bit hard to forget really. 

Anyway, time to post about the family.  First of all, the picture is one my daughter did.  I had meant to post it on the weekend, but forgot!  Yesterday I was working late, so did not get the chance to post it, and on Monday, I was putting the bed for my son together.  On Saturday, the kids were jumping on my sons bed, and broke it.  My wife managed to 'fix' it, in that it lasted until a new bed came (which was then bought after the first one was broken), but it meant that I had to put together the flat pack bed.  And so far, it is still standing.  My experience with DIY is legendary.  My wife no longer trusts me to do things.  She asked me to put up shelves, an I did try to put them up right, but in the end we had to pay someone to come in and put them up properly.  We have a light in our extension, and one of our neighbours would not sit under it until she was promised that I did not put it up and that we got someone in to do it.  

Anyway, today I was a bad father.  I picked my daughter up late from school.  I literally was only a minute or two late, but it must have been an eternity for her.  She was really brave waiting for me, but when I arrived, she burst into tears.  And I felt so bad.  So, out of my wife and I, I have had to do the walk of shame after getting my daughter late to school, while my wife never has (there was a close call for her once).  And now I have been late to pick her up.  And to make things worse, I only take and pick up my daughter once a week.  Wednesday is my paperwork day, so I go into work early, come home to take the kids to school/pre-school and go back to work.  I come back to collect my son from pre-school, go back to work, then come home to collect my daughter.  I honestly think that it helps me work, as I hate paperwork.  I love people contact, not paper contact, and having the time with the kids makes the drudge of paperwork so much better.  Saying that, I still love my job, and love where I am working, and Wednesdays, though the Wednesday part is mostly because I get to take the kids to school.  And on the topic of work, I hope you like the joke below... 

12 July 2011 PM.

Dear work colleagues,
It would just so happen that I am the winner of the Euro-million jackpot so I won't be in Tomorrow you bunch of boring gits.
I regularly spit in the office kettle and Mr Jenkins, I ****** your Wife.  Twice.
  **** you and goodbye.
..........
13 July 0811 AM.

Sorry all, checked last weeks numbers by mistake.
May be a little late this Morning.
P.S I have doughnuts :-)

Jenson Button wheel nut be happy

The title of this post is a reference to the British Grand Prix, which is a quick sports post.  Of course, my main concern regarding sports is Arsenal.  Fábregas and Nasri may be leaving, as will Manuel Almunia and Nicklas Bendtner.  Me, I think that Nasri should be allowed to play his contract out.  I think that we can do without Fábregas, which is not to say I am not grateful for the way he has played for us, or am not aware of just how good a player he is, but he have Wilshere.  Also we have Walcott and Aaron Ramsey.  In addition to all this, it will be interesting to see if Henri Lansbury can break into the first team and the effect he can have.  After all Denílson wants to leave as well and if he does go, that will leave more opportunities for players to come through.  Many Arsenal fans fear the upcoming season, but I think that we have the opportunity to do well.  Few will fear us, and if we can harness the potential in the team, that will be in our favour.  Alan Hansen once said "You'll never win anything with kids" and was proven wrong.  Well, this is a chance for Arsenal to show that it can be done.

Anyway, time to talk about the kids.  I have not posted that much of late, and for that, I am sorry.  This weekend, I missed the school fete, which was just as well, as there were stocks, and kids got to throw sponges at the dads that were there.  I did though get to watch Kung Fu Panda 2 with the kids.  And then we ate out and walked back home.  Simple things that gave us quality time and brings a huge smile to my face.  After all, times like these are what having kids is about.    

RIP the News of the World.

Rip it up good and proper.

If the F1 teams need their tyres taken off quickly, why don't they employ scousers? 

News of the world.

Letting deaf people read their voicemail until 10/07/2011.

Environmentalists say that every day an area the size of Wales is destroyed... Why is it never Wales?

Actually, I love Wales so I do feel a bit guilty about the joke.  We went there on the weekend, travelling down on Friday to stay at a lovely hotel for a wedding yesterday.  I have to day, the hotel was great.  On the Gower Peninsula it was a great place to stay, once I had worked out how to open the doors, and the kids loved it.  Not just because it was close to the beach, but because of the way the rooms were set out, having the space to play, clean and of course, watch Cbeebies on the large screen in the living room, and the televisions in their room or in ours.

We have been to Wales before (and I would return to the Gower Peninsula again), mainly because the best man at my wedding, Tony, lives there with his lovely wife Sally and their three kids, Dan Lowri and Tomos.  Mind you, I am hoping that I have spelt their names correctly.  And today, we met up with them on the way home.

So the wedding first of all, one which the kids loved, and so did we.  A cousin of my wife marrying a welsh beauty.  I had met the cousin before, and I do like him, and it was great to be there for his (and her) special day, one which celebrated their different backgrounds, with people flying in from across the globe to be there.  At the table I was on, there was one gentleman from Chile.  The kids were really good there.  Which was amazing as they were there for ages.  We got there are 1400 for the ceremony.  The legal stuff actually had been done the day before with close family and friends present, this being a day for everyone else to show their joy at the marriage of the two.  And it was an out door wedding, which was at risk of the elements.  Which considering that Wimbledon is about to start, was a brave decision. We found out later, that there was no plan B but as I said, if there was a plan B in case of rain, it would have rained.  Not sure if anyone (including myself) fell for that!  The vows that the happy couple made to each other were brilliant, and of course, reminds me of how wonderful a wife I have as the vows, about true love, apply to her as well.  After that it was drinks and a game of cricket, where the groom was caught out by the bride!  Start as she means to go on!  My daughter did find herself popular with insects, the wedding being held in a farm.  And after the tears, she was convinced to risk being bitten again (though I did not tell her about that) and the two kids and me walked around the farm looking at the hen, the cockerel and of course the two horses which my daughter loved.  I think that my son liked the chickens more, but they both loved seeing the animals.

They were great during the meal and at the end, it was time to dance, and both loved dancing.  Not that either of my children, or my wife and I could compare to the first dance between the happy couple.  Set to Queen's Don't Stop Me Now, it was a very memorable dance, and had some very impressive moves.  I have to say, the kids would have tired me out with dancing, but I hurt my knee on the dance floor which meant that I had to rest and watch.  After my daughter fell asleep on me (something that does not happen very often now) we later had to call it a night, though the couple and friends partied till three in the morning!

Anyway, come the morning, after my wife met other members of her family again who were present for the wedding, we went to meet up with Tony.  I have to say, I do feel guilty about messing him up a bit.  While we had mentioned to him a while ago we would be coming to Wales, we did not remind him until this weekend.  But his family and he met us at Margam Country Park.  And not only did all the kids (ours and his) have a great time, but we did as well.  One thing that I am amazed at is how few people there are there considering how great it is for kids and families.  It is a pleasure meeting up with Sally, Tony and their three kids, it is just a shame that we do not get to see them more often.

Anyway, after that, a long drive back to England.  And now time to rest...

Take care all. 

The eclipse everyone is talking about is over rated. it's a crap film!

The Apprentice is useless. If I want to hear about 12 people sitting around a table treating some Jewish bloke like he is some kind of a god, I would read the bible.







Afternoon all all. Again, I have had the pleasure of spending time with the kids yesterday. And my daughter has a new toy. I have been on eBay and got here a LEGO Ashoka Tano. The family also had a haircut as well, my son asking for his haircut to be stopped when he looked handsome!  My wife got to use her new hair thingy that I had got from eBay for her.  Anyway, take care, and I hope you like the links.

Iran is set to release hiker Sara Shourd, jailed for 13 months, for illegaly entering Iran. In related news, she is also suing the hell out of Google Maps.

I have had a great weekend with the family.

Yesterday I was working, and today, after getting back late last night, my son woke my up.  The kids are great, they normally sleep until seven in the morning  So at seven in the morning me called out.  I let my wife get some rest, and took the kids down.  Unfortunately, I have a tendency to excite the kids, and after a bit of screaming, my wife came down.  But, afterwards, the kids and I helped to make am omlette.  They helped me break and beat the eggs, and then ate, loving the food that they had helped to make.  And my wife made a cake for the street party.  A family down the road take time to organise a street party every year, and they do a great job.  We missed last year as I was working, and by the time I got back, the kids were having a nap with my wife.  We were able to go two years ago, and three years ago we moved into the street too late to attend the party.  I could say the kids loved it, but I did too.  There were drinks available of course, but it was a great opportunity to talk to neighbours from further down the road than you normally meet.  There were games for the kids, and games for adults to take part in.  The two kids really loved it, as did the children from down the road who attended.  And although it did rain a bit, it was still a great day.

Anyway, time to go.  Hope you like the jokes...

Me and my time travelling buddies go back years together.

On the sofa with my wife last night:

Me: Honey, you remind me of an onion.

Wife: Because I have so many layers to my personality?

Me: No...

Wife: Oh, OK, something stupid like you'll cry when you slice me up?

Me: No...

Wife: OK, OK, you'd prefer it if I was battered?

Me: No...

Wife: You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be overpowering?...

Me: No...

Wife: Oh, alright, why then?

Me: You smell of onion.

'Weinergate' Politician's Wife Is Pregnant Is she going to have a chipolata?

Evening. A quick post before I go to bed.  We went to a school evening at my daughters school yesterday to see the work she has done.  She is five and is brilliant!  I know every parent is (or should be) proud of their daughter, but she has been doing so well.  In fact, she does better at school than he lets on.  One mistake she made was to show us her work.  Which impressed my wife and I as she pretends that she is not as smart at home compared to the work she does at school!  Mind you, it takes a lot of brains to work that out, so I guess I have to accept that she has outsmarted the two of us.

It was great to see her glowing with pride as she showed me her work.  Mind you, she knows my limits.  Every now and then, my wife and I ask the kids who they would like to go to work, and who stays at home.  Now, I go to work to rest, as I can not cope being at home with the kids for too long without the help of my wife.  Everytime they are asked, my daughter says that she wants her Mummy to stay at home.  Every now and then, my son will say that he wants me to stay at home and Mummy should go to work.  Well, apparently, my wife has overheard my daughter telling my son why that should not happen.  Apparently my daughter knows that I can iron, but that if I stay at home, I will not be able to buy clothes, let alone dress them in clothes that match.  As my daughter said to my son, "If Daddy dresses you, you will not be handsome any more!"

The wife caught me cheating yesterday.
Was a stupid and careless mistake.
She said she's never going to play Monopoly with me again.

BBC Sport: All Black Donald signs for Bath.

E-I-E-I-O!

Due to the decreased price of cucumbers and another vegetables, I think it's time to spread a rumor that E.coli is caused by petrol, water, electricity and gas...

Just in case anyone is wondering, the post is a reference to the E Coli outbreak.

Anyway, a post about my kids, my wife and me.  As usual, I took my daughter to school and my son to pre-school.  My son rode his bike on the way back home and during lunch, did his best to look as cute as possible.  Of course, getting him to eat now is becoming an issue.  But I have decided that the best way to make him eat it to bore him to death.  That and threaten to eat his dessert.  Which he knows I will do.  In front of him!  My daughter got to ride her scooter home.  From a situation where she kept falling over with it, she is now a lot better on it,  and I imagine that it will not be long before she is using it properly.  It is good exercise for me to keep up with her as she is learning how to go faster each week.

Anyway, time to go as I am going to a school evening today.  I will try to post about it during the week.  In the meantime, I hope you like the video's below...

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."