Today was a day spent on the whole, without the kids.  Both went to nursery today.  Of course, after feeling tired the night before, both awoke at 0600.  Or rather, my wife and I felt tired the night before!  But hey, why have kids and then except to sleep in late?

Took my daughter to the nursery only for a fire alarm to have sounded, which meant that we had to wait before I got to drop her off.  I dropped off my son later.  He screamed.  You see, he does not like it there.  But he has only been there for a few days, and he is gradually being broken into it.

While they were gone, my wife and I worked on sorting out the many toys they have.  Loads can go away to a land called car boot.  But of course, they need not be told of this.  Make me wonder what happened to toys that were 'lost' when I was a child!

Anyway, am watching Flash Forward.  And once that is over, bed.  Good night all.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

Tell her a joke on Monday!

The end of the weekend

Tired once again.

Took the kids to see my mother on Saturday.  They got to see my two brothers and Jess (the youngest ones good looking partner).  Both loved playing with Dougal, who according to the older of my two brothers, is never as excited as he is when he sees my two kids.  My mother bought my eighteen month old son a toy motorbike.  A shame it says (clearly) in the packaging that it is not suitable for kids under 36 months!  She also got some things for my daughter, but taking them home, I found out that they were already broken!

Today my wife's parents got back from holiday.  I did not get to see the reaction as the kids saw them this morning as I sadly was at work.  But I did get to see them this afternoon.  Had to look after them this evening as I had arranged for my wife to go to a wine tasting at a nearby wine shop.  She cooked for them before she left, and all I had to do was feed them.

I can not remember if I have said this before, but my son loves meat, and my daughter hates anything with calories in it.  A bit of an exaggeration I guess.  But to make the meal interesting, I changed the Roast Chicken to roast seagull, carrots became Monkey Fingers, beans were rat's tails and the potatoes were hamster brains.  While it may sound gross, it got my daughter to eat loads, and with little fuss.  The only down side was that I had to make up a story as to why she was eating each item.  Mind you, that was not really that much of a downside!

My messy desk

Yawn! Knackered. I start to get over one illness, then another comes along. And I have to be working efficiently as I will be on holiday for next week. Not going anywhere, just spending time with the family and trying to make the house more presentable. Which means that I will have to get my desk clear before I go.

The kids are sort of well. My son has an unlimited supply of snot. He was more unwell before, and today has been very clingy. My daughter had her pre-school jabs as she was well enough for them. Second dose of MMR and the pneumonia one. And to be fair, she did really well. I was surprised that the nurse showed her the needles first, but we had told her that she was going to have an injection and got her to play giving one to me. She did go Ow! for the first one, but kept still for the second. I suspect that the box of additive filled sweets that she got to go through before and after the injections helped though!

Anyway, time to go to bed. Good night!

The past is memory, the future a mystery and now is a gift, which is why they call it the present

Evening all.  And in bed with my missus.  And we are both ill.

But never mind, the kids, who were ill are almost back to normal.  This weekend, I took the kids to see my mother (and they also got to see my two brothers for a short period of time) and we watched Kung Fu Panda and the Cannonball Run II.  Also, of course, we have taken time to watch Strictly Come Dancing and my daughter has now watched some of the BBC Narnia series.  I had to have Friday of due to a doctors appointment.  Or rather a hospital appointment.  My wife was concerned I had something serious.  I was not.  Fortunately, I was right, this time.  She was quite concerned about me and her worry has made her stressed, and now she is ill.  Mind you, the rest of us are as well.  Nothing like Swine Flu, just a series of bad colds, one after the other.

Anyway, time to go to bed.  I hope you like the joke.  And good night. 

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

But it is not ABBA!

Evening all.  It has been far too long since my last post.  Right now I am sitting with my daughter at the table waiting for her to eat listening to a playlist on the (ugh, spit) iPod of her songs.  Last weekend, when I played it, she threw her head back and wailed "But it's not ABBA!" which she loves after watching Mamma Mia.  (A film that really straight men should be banned from having to watch.)

And now, by the time I found the links for the paragraph above, she has given up eating.  We have a rule, you do not have to eat everything on your plate, but you do not get dessert if you have not.  TO be fair, she has eaten loads today, while her brother seemed to have held out today for dinner which he gulped down!  

Anyway, have to go.  Hope you all are well.  And that you like the joke below...

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

This was an actual question given on a University chemistry mid term exam.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it now.

The student wrote the following:

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during fresher’s week that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and taking into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven - thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Evening. I am posting this before I go to sleep for work tomorrow. It has been a while since my last post.
My family are back at home with me. The house is slowly becoming cleaner, though I type this on our desktop that is covered with dust.

On Saturday night, we went to a wedding. A dear friend of my wife who loves our children (and they love her) got married. The kids loved the wedding. Both liked the clothes my wife (who has excellent taste) chose for them, by daughter loving her dress. While at the wedding, both enjoyed dancing on the dance floor. My son though has a habit of picking up girls. He is fussy. They have to be pretty, and until Saturday night, legal. But then he went for girls his own age (now 17 months). Saying that, he found sparkly things, and went up to young women and handed them to them. And then basked in the attention they gave him. My daughter also loved dancing. When I took her to the bar though (to get her an apple juice) I saw her looking about her. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me that she wanted to make sure that there was no one prettier than her there!

Yesterday, Sally, Simon and the kids, John, Amy and Laura came over for dinner. My daughter and son loved them being there, my daughter taking them up to her room where they being girls tired her clothes on. I am so glad I am a boy. My son spent time with John who is not a year old yet. The great thing is that Laura being older than my daughter by a few years is able to read, and that was enough to give her a bit of encouragement to learn to read later.

Right now, I am reading her the Magican's Nephew, having read her the Lion the Withch and the Wardrobe which she loved. After I have read her the tales of Narnia, I am going on to the Winne the Pooh stories that Lynn gave her so many years ago.

And today, I finally nearly finished the climbing frame/slide/swing that I started to set up so many months ago, thanks to Steve, that is Lynns partner.

Anyway, I have to go to bed, and can not be bothered to post links on this post. Goodnight and hope you enjoy the joke...


An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.So what do you think about that, Doc?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story:

'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunterand never misses a season.
One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'

Adultish content

Evening all.  I have spent a great weekend with the kids.  My wife went to a hen night (I will see if I can upload a video at a later date) and so I had the kids on the Saturday night.  As I was at my parents-in-law it was no big deal.  Mind you, when I have had them at home before, it was not big deal.  Apart from my son screaming for a few hours.

So I took them to spend time with my side of the family.  My two brothers and my Mum.  And Dougal of course.  We went to Highgate park where the kids played in a park and my daughter ran about with Dougal.  Considering that she used to be terrified of him, this is a big step.  Anyway, hope you like the joke and good night.

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out, "Perhaps you should hear how all this came about."

"I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the fridge.

She was barefooted, so I gave her your good sandals that you had discarded because they had gone out of style.

She was cold so I gave her the sweater that I bought for you for your birthday but you never wore because the color didn't suit you.

Her pants were torn, so I gave her a pair of your jeans, which were perfectly good, but too small for you now.

Then, just as she was about to leave, she asked me, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore'?"