The definition of irony - A man who walks outside for fresh air but then smokes.

Good day to you all. My kids are back. Though with my wife not being that well, they might be gone again tomorrow. Spent today with them, and bless them, they still love me, even though they have not seen me for the last two days.

Anyway, knackered after working very late last night.

A duck hunter is out early one morning hunting ducks. He's not having a lot of luck and he's about ready to pack it in and go home.
Then he catches a break and shoots a duck. The duck falls to the ground on the other side of a fence. He hops the fence to grab the duck
and a farmer appears from nowhere and asks "What are you doing with my duck?" The hunter says "That's my duck! I shot it." The farmer replies "Doesn't matter -- it's on my land. But I'll tell you what. We'll take turns kicking each other in the nuts as hard as we can until one of us gives up. The winner keeps the duck. Oh, and I kick first." So the farmer winds up and kicks the hunter square in the nuts. The pain is so awful the hunter throws up and then collapses. 10 minutes later, he tentatively gets to his feet and says "Okay, my turn."

To which the farmer replies "That's okay, you can keep the duck."