Evening. I am posting this before I go to sleep for work tomorrow. It has been a while since my last post.
My family are back at home with me. The house is slowly becoming cleaner, though I type this on our desktop that is covered with dust.

On Saturday night, we went to a wedding. A dear friend of my wife who loves our children (and they love her) got married. The kids loved the wedding. Both liked the clothes my wife (who has excellent taste) chose for them, by daughter loving her dress. While at the wedding, both enjoyed dancing on the dance floor. My son though has a habit of picking up girls. He is fussy. They have to be pretty, and until Saturday night, legal. But then he went for girls his own age (now 17 months). Saying that, he found sparkly things, and went up to young women and handed them to them. And then basked in the attention they gave him. My daughter also loved dancing. When I took her to the bar though (to get her an apple juice) I saw her looking about her. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me that she wanted to make sure that there was no one prettier than her there!

Yesterday, Sally, Simon and the kids, John, Amy and Laura came over for dinner. My daughter and son loved them being there, my daughter taking them up to her room where they being girls tired her clothes on. I am so glad I am a boy. My son spent time with John who is not a year old yet. The great thing is that Laura being older than my daughter by a few years is able to read, and that was enough to give her a bit of encouragement to learn to read later.

Right now, I am reading her the Magican's Nephew, having read her the Lion the Withch and the Wardrobe which she loved. After I have read her the tales of Narnia, I am going on to the Winne the Pooh stories that Lynn gave her so many years ago.

And today, I finally nearly finished the climbing frame/slide/swing that I started to set up so many months ago, thanks to Steve, that is Lynns partner.

Anyway, I have to go to bed, and can not be bothered to post links on this post. Goodnight and hope you enjoy the joke...


An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.So what do you think about that, Doc?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story:

'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunterand never misses a season.
One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?' asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'

Adultish content

Evening all.  I have spent a great weekend with the kids.  My wife went to a hen night (I will see if I can upload a video at a later date) and so I had the kids on the Saturday night.  As I was at my parents-in-law it was no big deal.  Mind you, when I have had them at home before, it was not big deal.  Apart from my son screaming for a few hours.

So I took them to spend time with my side of the family.  My two brothers and my Mum.  And Dougal of course.  We went to Highgate park where the kids played in a park and my daughter ran about with Dougal.  Considering that she used to be terrified of him, this is a big step.  Anyway, hope you like the joke and good night.

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out, "Perhaps you should hear how all this came about."

"I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the fridge.

She was barefooted, so I gave her your good sandals that you had discarded because they had gone out of style.

She was cold so I gave her the sweater that I bought for you for your birthday but you never wore because the color didn't suit you.

Her pants were torn, so I gave her a pair of your jeans, which were perfectly good, but too small for you now.

Then, just as she was about to leave, she asked me, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore'?"

The Clone Wars

Again it has been good to spend the day with my children.  Once again, I am now at home.  

Come the morning, after being woken up by both of them, I took them downstairs and let my daughter watch Clone Wars.  She loved it.  My son loved spending time with me as well.  Taking him to the shops, he sat on my shoulders, walked about with me and looked for attention as always!  I can not wait until he is old enough to watch the films.  Mind you, I can not wait until my family are back at home with me!

I hope you like the joke...  

A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds:

"Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed."

About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs on her front porch.

"I'm here about your ad," he says.

"You must be mistaken," she says.

"Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away, because I don't have any legs." 

"But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?"

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Health links

I just thought that I would post this to help me on Yahoo answers when answering questions about healthcare.  The facts connect you to links about them.  Feel free to e-mail me on Yahoo answers if you have a query about them, or if you feel that they are wrong.    
FACT - Insurance companies in the USA admit to pushing up prices, buying politicians and not paying out claims when they should
FACT - PER PERSON the USA spends more on healthcare than any other nation on the planet
FACT - Obama debated his plans before the election for healthcare
FACT - the chance of a child under five of dying in the USA is greater than industrialised nations with universal healthcoverage
FACT - Obama was elected by the American people to bring in change
FACT - Obama wants to stop insurance companies from screwing the American people
FACT - The reforms Obama wants work in the Netherlands and in Switzerland
Sorry of this causes offence to some.  That is not the intent and I am always open to debate.

Darth Vader is naughty

Evening all.  I was at work today when I was phoned by my wife.  I thought something serious had happened.  It had.

My daughter was playing star wars with my son.  She was Princess Leia, he, seventeen months tomorrow was Luke Skywalker.  My wife was Harriet Solo, my mother-in-law Obi-Wan Kenobi and she decided that my father-in-law was to be the Emperor.  I have just watched the last episode of Dollhouse with my wife.  And tomorrow, I get to spend time with my children!!!  Until I have to go back home for work on Thursday.   Anyway, I will try to post about tomorrow sometime.  Hope you like the joke...

Five surgeons at a Conference meet in a bar at the end of the day's proceedings. As the evening wears on and the drinks keep circulating, the talk becomes less technical. Finally, 



'I like to see Accountants on my operating table,' the first surgeon is straight-faced. 'When you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'



The second surgeon thinks he can top that. 'You should try electricians; everything inside them is colour coded.'



The third surgeon enters into the swing of the thing. 'No, librarians are best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order..



The fourth surgeon offers his opinion. 'Well, I prefer furniture assembly people; they are never fazed when you have a few parts left over.'



The fifth surgeon thinks for a moment, then, 'I'll choose politicians any day. You open them up and there's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, no spine and the head and the arse are interchangeable.'

My legs hurt Daddy

Evening.  The kids are in bed and I too am about to call it a night.  I took them to London Zoo today.  My wife is away with two friends on a spa weekend.  Our house was meant to be finished by now.  It is not.  Well, not finished, but habitable again.  And with no kitchen and two small kids, it effectively is not habitable for the family.  So the Spa weekend was arranged back home, and now, I have the kids at her parents!  So I took them out.  Getting to the zoo took longer than I expected.  My son had fallen asleep by the time I pulled into the car park, but my daughter was too excited to sleep.

And they loved it.  Being only sixteen months, my son may not have appreciated it as much as my daughter did, but he did like being there.  She loved it and did not want to leave at the end.  But she had seen almost everything that a three year old girl would be interested in.  Initially she did not want to see the snakes and the insect house, but she changed her mind and was really brave!  It did involve a lot of walking and when we finished and got to the car, she told me that her legs hurt.  We had not even left Regents Park and she was asleep when I was driving away.  She was a bit annoyed that there were no elephants.  There are elephants at Colchester Zoo and she has been there a few times.     I told her that if I was horrible to her today, that she could throw me into the Lions cage.  By the fact that I am typing this, she did not!

Anyway, good night and I hope you like this joke...

Scientists suggest that drinking beer makes men act like women. To test this theory, 100 men were fed seven pints of beer each. 

Within a one hour period it was then observed that 100% of the men 

1. Talked excessively without making sense.

2. Became overly emotional.

3. Couldn't drive. 

4. Failed to think rationally. 

5 Argued over nothing.

6. Refused to apologise when they were wrong.