There's to be a Hollywood remake of Mario Balotelli's horror challenge. "The Shinning".

The Titanic cost £200m. So did Liverpool's current side.
One is a sinking ship.....The other was the Titanic.

Harry Redknapp has already been investigated for tax evasion, I think he could do without being investigated for a betting scandal..
...I've heard of match fixing before, but to throw a whole season takes some balls!

What is the difference between Sir Elton John and Man City? Elton John has a title.

Evening all.

I have been spening the last few days dreading the football result for yesterday.  I was not too happy that we lost against QPR, but then Mark Hughes seems to be focusing as much attention as he can on winning the home games.  Just as well considering the loss yesterday against Man Ure.  Anyway, I loved the result.  A last minute goal sealed it, and what a way to age me!  Anyway, things got better today when the scum lost at home to Norwich.  Although I worked in Suffolk for over eight years, and have a soft spot for Ipswich town, having links to North Suffolk for a while, I gained a fondness for Norwich.  I still would rather Ipswich did better than they did.

Today, I have been at work in the morning and things were good there.  I was working on Saturday morning which was busier for me, but it was good to have an easier time at work.  Afterwards, once I had got my energy levels back at home, spent time with the kids who now seem to view me as someone to wrestle with, climb on or in general abuse!  Did get them to do some reading, and I am continually impressed with both of them.

Anyway, it is late, and I have to go now.  Good night!

Easter: The worlds first zombie story

Morning all. Quick post. The kids are loving Easter so far.  And of course are looking forwards to sampling chocolate eggs.  So far they are on a shelf, where they can see them, but they are too high to be brought down by them.  Muhahahaha!  Yesterday, I built the Tower of Doom for my son, and brought down the Fairy Tale Castle for my daughter, which was in her room, but now is opposite the Tower of Doom and covered with LEGO people.  They have been watching The Voice for a bit anyway.  At night time, I am now brushing their teeth while they watch a music video and they are starting to get into music.  But, not always the same choice as me.  My son for example, after watching Madagascar, has started to sing the song below...



Today, is a special Sunday.
A Sunday with a great history.
Where everyone should take the time to watch and listen.
I love super Sunday.

Hi, my name is John Prescott and the only egg I got for Easter was thrown at me.

Being in a mixed-faith household, our Easter eggs are hidden by the Easter Rabbi.

Foot (noun): Device used for finding lego in the dark

It is interesting to see who looks at this blog.  The figures from today are...

11 - United Kingdom

2 - Malaysia

2 - Namibia

2 - United States

1 - Canada

1 - China

1 - France

1-  Indonesia

I expect the posts from the UK and the US considering my posts on Yahoo Answers, but I am surprised by the locations of the other people who have looked at the blog.  I suspect most the views are due to the posts that I have made on political issues such as healthcare in the USA as well as the NHS and of course, those posts that I have made with regards to the far right.

But, today, let me post about the kids.  Yesterday we went to Legoland.  Again.  They love it there, and with the Merlin Pass that we have, it makes it a much cheaper day out than it would be otherwise.  The trip there does involve the road to hell (the M25 for those who are not aware of it) and of course, Windsor is busy if you follow the route there, but I am lucky as I know a rat run.  For now, they have yet to block it.  Once they do that will be a different matter.  And it will be a matter of time as when going there yesterday, there were two cars ahead of me which had the same idea.  Needless to say it was crowded, but they did not care, most of the time.

The day before that, we went to watch The Pirates, in 3D which, again, they loved.  And to be fair, so did I.  So, two days, good for me, and of course, the kids as well.  Today is a more relaxing day.  I have tried to get them to watch Star Wars, but they are not that interested at present.  Knackered after a long drive and then last night there was a work do.  One of the people I work with has left, and she will be missed a lot.  She did bring a lot of things to work, it will be strange without her there.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the music, and the jokes.


I went to collect my son from getting his driving licence the other day. It was his first time and he was understandably nervous. Thankfully he drove really well and passed, but there were several drivers that made some shocking errors and were still given their licence. Lane discipline was almost non-existent, signalling was poor and some nearly caused major pile-ups. I was fuming that these drivers had not taken the test seriously and still passed, so I snatched away all the wrongly awarded driving licences.

And apparently that's enough to get you banned from Legoland.

I wasn't fooled by the Arsenal April fools story in The Sun today.. As if Podolski would turn down Manchester United for Arsenal.

I am annoyed.  I knew that the game away to QPR was going to be a tough one, with it being a London derby, but I was hoping that we would beat them.  Finishing third is going to be hard.

Anyway, since last week, I actually have not spent as much time with the children as I would have liked.  Wednesday though was fun.  As usual, I was at work in the early part of the morning doing paperwork, can came home to take them out in the morning.  My daughter and son this time were using their scooters.  And with my son having learned both how to steer and go a lot faster than before, they both had fun.  They did have one slight collision though which resulted in my daughter walking the rest of the way to school.  I did have a heart stopping moment as I was wondering if she had broken something, but when she started to walk, I was reassured.

At the moment, my mother is up, which has allowed me to go to a leaving do on Friday as well as taking my wife out yesterday.  The kids love both their Grandmothers and love the fact that my mother will read to them both in the morning as well as at night.

Anyway, time to go now...

My mate has just told me that Fernando Torres scored and had a fantastic game against Aston Villa.
I've fell for some April Fools jokes in my time but I'm not falling for that one!

Mancini thinks United will slip up in the title race
He's got a point................
At home against Sunderland. 

People are always complaining that football teams are changing their kits every season to make more money.
It's not true. I bought an Arsenal scarf for my daughter 7 years ago listing:
League Champions (13) Premier League (4)
FA Cup (10)
League Cup (2)
UEFA Cup (1)
European Cup Winners' Cup (1)
7 years on and still up to date.

That's two Camerons who have sunk to new depths this week

Evening all.  Quick post.

First the family.  Just got in trouble with my daughter for using the wrong toothpaste.  My wife ages ago bought some toothpaste that was too minty for the kids.  I accidentally used it on the kids tonight.  My son was able to cope, but there was a very angry daughter.  I guess I do owe her an apology.  My son yesterday went to a birthday party.  I got to take him.  He loved it and a few hours later, I was able to hear again.  What we did do when we got home was to go for a walk.  Well, he went on his new scooter.  Which I have to say, he got very good at using.  Come Wednesday, that is if I am going to walk the kids to school he will be able to keep up with his sister for once.

Second, Arsenal.  We are in third place!  During last week, the Scum lost and we got a lucky win against Everton, on the weekend they drew against Chelski and we won at home to Villa.  While it is too early to say for sure, a run of form can breed confidence and that means that we become harder to beat which is going to be important for our away game against QPR.  Just because we have got into third place, that does not mean we are going to keep it.  And that means hard work.

For anyone wondering what you get for donating to the Government, below is a handy price breakdown.
Dinner with the Prime Minister David Cameron = £500,000
Dinner with the Chancellor George Osborne = £250,000
Dinner with Nick Clegg = Half a bag of chips and a curly wurly

I still can't believe that Theo Walcott can play for Arsenal, England and JLS

Well, I enjoyed the game. The first few minutes were great from an Arsenal perspective, though Newcastle did score we were such a threat.  And the main threat being Theo.  When he is on form, he is brilliant and he had a great game.  Hopefully, he will continue to go on to do great things for us.  And now we are only a point from third place.  Anyway, I am tired and have to go to bed.  Work tomorrow!

Manchester City have just been awarded a Coca Cola franchise. The American soft drink manufacturor are said to be impressed by City's ability to bottle just about anything

Well, to be fair, Swansea have an excellent home record.  But, at the time of making this post, ManUre are top having beaten West Bromwich Albion while Man $hitty were beaten away to Swansea.  Many think that ManUre have the advantage in the race for the title.  Mind you, I am not interested in that.  I am interested in the race for third place.  The Scum lost yesterday which gives us a chance, so long as we beat Newcastle tomorrow.  Mind you, Chelski are keeping up the pressure with their win yesterday and we have a tendency to throw advantages away.  We may not even finish in the top four.  Remember last season, despite having the chance to win the title in a two horse race, we finished in 4th place.  It will be interesting to see what our new signing will be like next season, assuming that he does not change his mind and that Van Persie stays.

Anyway, the kids.  My daughter had her learning conference last week and since her last one last term, she has been doing really well.  Her handwriting could be better, but then she is cursed as my handwriting is terrible.  There are times I have problems reading what I have written myself!  My son has an interesting view on learning things.  He is able to read some three letter words, and if you talk about sums using cars, he is able to do basic addition and subtraction.  I have taken by daughter out on her bike today.  I was going to take my son out on his new scooter, but due to a collision between the two, he fell over and now has a nice shiny bruise on his forehead.  Needless to say he was not too keen on going out on his scooter afterwards.  Later through, with the sunny weather that we had today, the two kids went out to play in the garden on the climbing frame that I put together.  While looking deformed and twisted compared to the picture on the box, it is still up and they love using the swings on it as well as the climbing frame.


Anyway, time to go now.  They are eating while watching the Smurfs.

After a lengthy court battle Clark Kent has lost custody of his kids.  Now he can only see his children with supervision

I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said 'One minute I'm on the phone.' 

Roman Abramovic can afford to keep hiring and firing managers because he saves so much money on Torres goal bonuses