You are about as useful as Ryan Giggs's wedding vows.

After Barcelona's demolishing of Manchester United in the Champion's League final at Wembley, festivities and partying went on until the early hours in the city centre, of Liverpool.

Evening all.  I have had a really nice day today with my wife, kids and my mother.  We collected my mother today and took them to the London Eye.  On getting my Mum, Dougal came out to say hi to my two kids, who promptly screamed!  And they got to meet my two brothers as well.  And then we went on the London Eye.  I did not think that they would want to go on it, thinking instead that they would want to go in the Aquarium, but my daughter cried when she thought that she was not going, and my son on seeing the Eye screamed about going on it.  So that decided the choice of destination.  And they really loved being up so high.  It was great for me, being born and brought up in London, I will always have a soft spot for the city especially considering the walking around it I used to do when I was younger.

And of course, they loved spending time with my mother, who loved being with them as well.

Anyway, time to go...

BBC News: Bad drivers to face £100 fines Seems a bit sexist.

Evening all.  Well, it has been an interesting time since my last post.

One of the things my son wanted was to sleep in a bed.  He broke my heart on Friday when he cried himself to sleep saying that he wanted to sleep in a bed.  Well, I was not able to make his cot into a bed on Saturday as I was working, but on Sunday I was able to.  My wife was amazing as she was able to work out bits when it came to help me.  However we were not able to make the bottom of the bed properly.  Well, my son did not care, he was overjoyed and come the night, he was very excited about sleeping.  A shame last night though when he fell out of bed.  Not that he admitted to doing so in the morning, saying instead that his rabbit (the cuddly toy that he was sleeping with) fell out of his bed.  And it would have worked on me, had my wife not got out of bed in the night to put him back to bed.

Today, on getting back from work, I got my update on my kids.  My daughter was a bit cheeky.  Well naughty really.  At dinner, she put some of her food on my sons plate.  My son complained, and thanks to my wife being very observant, she was found out.  Did not help though when my daughter tried to lie about it.  It is interesting to see how both develop.  We do try our best to praise the kids when they are nice to each other, and hopefully that will bear fruit later.  Most of the time they get on well together.  And on the subject of my daughter, I was reading with her on Sunday.  Last week, she went up a stage on reading, and I have to say, I can not tell the difference.  She was amazing.  At first, she was not too keen on reading, but when I pointed out I would write in her report book which her teacher reads, her attitude changed.  For someone so young, I am very impressed at how well she does with reading when she puts her mind to it.

Anyway, one other thing that my son is now doing is wearing pants.  Only today, he was to wear boxers.  But as far as he was concerned, and he told my wife this, jeans are not to be worn over shorts!

Anyway, I hope you like this... 

Dear IRA,

If there is ANY attempt made at the Queen's life during her historic visit to Ireland, i will personally see to it that you are all knighted.

Your's sincerely,

Charles xxx 

I noticed a lot of people queuing outside Waterstones today so I asked the security guard what was going on.

He said, "Jedward are doing a book signing."

I said, "Where's the punchline?"

He said, "There isn't one."

I said, "Brilliant, does that mean I get to go first?" 

Liverpool are 14/1 to be champions next season. For those of you that don't understand betting, that means if you bet £10, you lose £10

Evening all.
My son has decided that my wife should not pick up his sister from school.
My daughter is not aware of the fact that while she is at school, her brother is doing the best he can to have her abandoned.
Today, he got my wife to take him to Sainsburys. While there, a woman was handing out free samples of chocolate. Needless to say he kept managing to go past her. And she, like so many women before her, fell for his charm. Lots of chocolate later...

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Let me hope my wife does not see the picture above!  Anyway, quick post about the kids.  Both are doing well.  My son has started to wear pants.   He is very proud, and that means he is more like a grown up.  He is not too keen on having to wear his pull-ups at night and to be fair, he appears to be dry at night most of the time, so that may be something that we will be able to make progress on.

So yesterday, when my wife took him to school (to drop my daughter off) he went up to one of the girls he is friends with to show of his pants.  Fortunatley my wife stopped him exposing himself in the school playground.  Kids eh!

Anway, here is hoping that you like the music.




A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a handgun.

He shouts 'this is a raid – everyone get on the floor!!', and proceeds to empty the cash drawers.

As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his balaclava.
The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts.. 'Did anybody else here see my face?'.

The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also.

'Did anybody else see my face?' he shouts again, waving his gun around There is silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner..



'I think my missus caught a glimpse....'

ManUre have won the league by having a lot of depth to their squad. They won today despite big names such as Howard Webb not performing for them.

Evening all.  Sorry about there being no post about the kids for a while.  I keep meaning to make a post, but for one reason or another, one thing will get in the way.  Mainly time.  

Anyway, on Thursday my wife had to go to London for a course.  Which meant that I was in charge of the kids.  I got back from work (late) to find my daughter, for the first time ever, reading her brother the bedtime story.  I still told them another one, but it did make me so proud that she was reading to her brother.  Friday, I got to take them to school and nursery, went to work, which was a paperwork day for me (I had to take time off to look after the kids) and after picking them up, took them down to stay at my wife's parents.  Spending time with them is precious, and they constantly find ways of making me laugh.  Having the time with them, even when I am ill, is precious, though I have to admit, that when I am not being 100%, I am a bit short with them.  Of course, I was not able to take them to see my own mother, as I had to go back up to Colchester on Friday evening as I was working on Saturday.

Anyway, my daughter has not been that well, and a urine test picked up a slight abnormality.  Which means that she needs a blood test this week, so fingers crossed...

A Manc buys a Scouser an album for his birthday. When the Scouser opened it, he punched the Manc in the face.

It was '19' by Adele.

Rumours that Osama Bin Laden has been hiding in Arsenal's Trophy Room were yesterday dismissed by Arsene Wenger who angrily told reporters "There is no such place"

Oh well, another weekend, and another loss.

After beating ManUre last weekend, we lose against Stoke.  Still, we are going to finish the season above the Scum.  

What I am hoping for is that we manage to nab Gareth Bale when the Scum fail to qualify for the European Cup.  I doubt that he will stay there, and he would be a great addition to the squad, and he is a player that can make us into a team that will win things.  Anyway, time for me to make a post about the kids...

Osama has Bin Laden to rest

I guess Osama Bin Laden was looking forward to his 47 virgins in paradise.

Let's hope they're all male.

Osama Bin Laden

World Hide & Seek Champion: 2001 - 2011

BBC Website:

US President Barack Obama - "Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama Bin Laden, the leader of Al-Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women and children."

Former US President Bill Clinton - "This is a profoundly important moment not just for the families of those who lost their lives on 9/11 and in al-Qaeda's other attacks but for people all over the world who want to build a common future of peace, freedom, and co-operation for our children. "

Former US President George W Bush - "Who?"

Osama maybe considered a martyr by the radical islam, but it was the US that made him a holey man.

BBC News: US forces kill Osama Bin Laden.
Really?
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Bin Laden's dead, but I don't believe the US army has got anything to do with it. I can't help but think that his death coincides with the fact there's been 12 million nerds unable to play Call of Duty for two weeks, and one of them has finally lost it.