Evening all. I have a moment at work to post a quick update on the kids. As my mother knows, I have started to use my mobile to allow her to make video calls to them before they go to bed. Having an iPhone 4, it can make such calls, which is great. They have loved seeing her on the telephone and of course, she has loved being able to see them most nights. Of course, now she is going abroad, it will be even better. I have to thank David, who had come to stay in December, who told me that I could do this. However (like the Guardian did), he said I could use Skype, which I could not at the time. So instead, I used Yahoo!Messenger. My brother set up an account for my Mum and since then, she has been able to see the kids. Of course, now she is going to be many many miles away, thanks to the time difference, she will only get a chance to see them on the weekend mornings that I am not going to be working! But seeing them on weekends when abroad will be better than not at all.
Spent last night with my wife, had a great time watching Jools Holland with her, and in the morning, the kids were understanding and allowed us to sleep, while they watched television in bed with us. Thank god for Cbeebies!
Anyway, back to work, and when I get home, I may even get to watch the highlights from the Arsenal match! Not that I expect them to win. Still, must not complain. We are still in the European Cup, at least till we play Barcelona.
And I hope you like this song. If not, there is something else that can make you laugh and I hope someone likes that.
Blondes on Marriage
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
Hello. I guess this is a great title considering the game result. A draw. Sad really, considering that we were two goals to one up. I have got all my swear words out. And the team knew that they had to focus. But never mind. I guess. Well I will mind, but I have my kids, who are far more important to me than Arsenal is. And of course my wife. Who also is more important than the football team.
And speaking of the family, my daughter is about the same as she was yesterday. Which is unwell, but still well enough to play about, though she gets tired easily. And in an attempt to stop my son from trying to kill us I took him out for a walk while my daughter was having a nap. He loved having quality time with me. Sad considering that I am going to work tomorrow. The kids have been playing with the Lego and Duplo that they got for Christmas. And of course, being kids, they have been as cheeky as they could get away with. My son of course being the one who is the most cheeky out of the two of them. Anyway, I have to go. Time to massage my wife's feet. Good night all.
Abra-Kebabra: A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Beer Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
Boiler Suit: The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and knowingly, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Breaking the Seal: Your 1st visit to the loos in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Cider Visor: Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
Etch-A-Sketch: Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her breasts simultaneously.
Going For a McShit: Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the loo. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.
Millennium Domes: The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
Monkey Bath: A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
Mystery Taxi: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NBR: No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
10-Pinter: Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
2-Bagger: Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to sleep with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)
First of all, the kids. My son has not been too well for the last few days. So today, he gave his illness to his sister (they love to share) and then got better. So we had an Ill daughter who was too unwell to go to a birthday party and a son who had regained his energy. This really came out later today. While his sister was knackered, he decided that he needed to wrestle. Normally he decides to take me on, I am after all the pretender to the throne of Alpha Male that his rightfully his. (He stays at home & looks after everyone while I sod off to work.). But today he decided to attack my wife. It might be that he has decided to like me more as I have been at home. It took some doing, but after a while I managed to get him to try to fight me instead. Of course, I have to lose at times.
And on that topic, it was kind of Chelski to lose last night. I did not think that would happen. I actually thought that we were going to be beaten again, though I also was aware that probability was on our side, not just the awful run of form that Chelski had, but that we were playing better, and that we deserved some luck in this fixture. Drogba loves playing against us. The git that he is, he ruined the Arsenal career of Senderos who, until a game against him was brilliant and afterwards, he lost load of confidence and never regained it while wearing an Arsenal shirt. But it was enjoyable to watch a game we both dominated and more importantly won. In the past we have been all over Chelski only for Drogba to score on a counter attack. Victory was sweet last night, though my wife was glad that the kids were asleep during the game as my language was a bit foul!
Kids had a great Christmas. They loved the toys they got. Yesterday I took them down to London to see my mother. And today Lynn and Steve popped round which both loved as they can get loads of hugs and attention from Lynn. My son has a thing for attractive blondes you see. Well, they are attractive! My wife thinks that he prefers blondes, but being two, you can not really tell. Anyway, I am knackered. I have stayed up to watch Arsenal win! And not only win, but beat Chelski and overcome a run of defeats against them! A good game, and good post match analysis on Sky (though I prefer the way Alan Hansen goes through matches on Match of the Day).
Good night all, and take care! I hope you like the video below and that you do not consider it to be too rude. If you do, tough!
Oh, and the joke...
Compare The Meerkat
Great Grandad: Battles Mongoose
Grandad: Sails To Russia
Father: Compare The Meerkat.Shop
Alexandr: Bribes FIFA Officials
I got this joke by text earlier this week, or a Christmas version of it. The kids are looking forwards to Christmas. Well my daughter is. She was able to speak to my mother using my iPhone while she was using her webcam. (Thanks to one of my brothers for this.) All she taked about yesterday was how today would be Christmas Eve and that Father Christmas could be coming to visit. To say that she is excited would be an understatement. My son is aware something is going on. Being aged two, he has been annoyed that he has been to other people's birthday parties, but that he has not had one himself. Needless to say, trying to explain this to him has been fairly fruitless. But he is going to love Christmas. He is going to get Buzz Lightyear. He got Woody for his birthday, and although he loves Woody, he seems to prefer Buzz, I suspect because he is a spaceman and being two, he has not watched many Cowboy and Indian films. Anyway, I have taken a quick break at work to post this. I need to get back to work as my break is over.
Take care all, and have a Merry Christmas!
There were three men talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third man remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two blokes where amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.
She said 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'
And speaking of power, well it has been an interesting month for those in power. There has been the action of the Liberal Democrats with tuition fees.
Something which has been captured in song. And I think a very good one as well. In fact, not only did I mention it on Yahoo! Answers, but I downloaded it as well.
Though it was a shame it did not beat the X-factor winner to number one! Anyway, I have had a few days off. Today is my last day away from work before I head back on Friday to work on Christmas Eve. It has been good to have a break. And for those who do not know, it has snowed. On Saturday, I was working in Haverhill and it snowed while I was there. By snow, I mean loads of snow, that overwhelmed the roads. Not enough grit could be placed on the roads, and the snow ploughs that I saw working were not able to keep up with the amount of snowthat was falling.
I drove through one village down a hill to find that the people there were helping cars up a hill. Later on, I got stuck on a hill myself, but managed to free myself, and again, later on came across another village where the people there were helping drivers up the hill there. Just as well considering the nightmare that driving up a snow covered hill can cause!
But I was lucky and I was able to make it home. That Saturday was an interesting day. I had to take a route home with less hills, and avoid parts of Colchester which had ground to a halt due to the snow. Friends of ours had to leave their cars and walk home as doing that was quicker than staying in a car in traffic that was hardly moving!
The kids have enjoyed the snow, though the latest batch has not been as snowman friendly as the last lot. It has impinged our plans. I was hoping to visit my old work but was not able to due to the snow, as well as drop of a few presents in Ipswich. We did manage to do some last bits of shopping yesterday though, Bluewater being very quiet. As always, it was great to spend time with the kids, though my son has started to dislike spending an afternoon in a shopping centre!
Since I last posted, my mother has been up to baby-sit allowing my wife and I to go out for a meal in Jardine in Wivenhoe. If you want to eat there, I would recommend it. I love the meal, and of course, was very grateful to my mother for looking after the kids. The only down side was that she took my coat and gloves to her house rather than her own which means in the cold weather, I have been a bit colder that I would be normally!
I thought that I had better post another amusing political picture, one which considering the proposed changes to the NHS is a bit topical.
Evening all. Quick post. I did not get to spend time with the kids yesterday as I was at work. Spent a bit of time with them, but not as much as I would have liked. Today though, took them to my mother, and my wife's parents. They got to see my two brothers, and they loved it. That is the kids, and my side of the family. And of course they loved going to my wife's parents. All in all, a good day with them all. Anyway, time to go to bed. And then to work. Where my manager is a Spurs fan. And that is going to be hard to bear...
