There is a lot of pressure on men to be toxic. We see those like Andrew Tate venerated by other men, but we also see people like Russell Brand being defended by women. When it comes to toxic behaviour in men being tolerated, it is the 'right type' of man who is able to get away with this. While it is not with every woman, there are enough women who are attracted to bad boys which makes men see such behaviour as the right thing to do.
There are so many things that we can do to help society become better, but that includes addressing the issues that men face, not just to their own health, but how they affect others. Examples of this include teaching men who to act in relationships to reduce rates of domestic violence, ensuring that women do not have to fear being killed by men (or boys) due to an actual or perceived slight. And of course, reducing the numbers carrying knives full stop.
Too many times, men have not challenged other men who have been misogynistic. We had it when Donald Trump talked in 2005, about how he would sexually assault women (the recording was released in 2016 a month before the election). We have had another blast of misogyny this week. Dan Wootton and Laurence Fox engaged in a bit of misogynistic banter, live on TV. Fox discussed the views of a female journalist, and his way of dismissing her was to say that no one, other than an incel, would shag her. Wootton, when he had the chance to say Maaate, and challenge this outburst of misogyny, laughed.
Later, when suspended, he admitted what he did was wrong. However Fox threw him under the bus by tweeting the conversation that they had on X (the App formerly known as Twitter).
What Wootton should have done, is to follow the advice of Sadiq Khan. He should have said Maaate, and then challenged his friend and given him the chance to apologise for what he said.
As a man, if I see sexism like that, I should speak out, if I was in the situation Wootton was in. Banter is one thing, misogyny is another. Boys are taught Toxic Masculinity as teenagers. Such teaching can be unlearned, and that requires it to be challenged.
Sadly, the police, at times, have to kill. A decision has to be made in a split second as to if someone poses a threat to life, or if they do not. This post is made over the death of Chris Kaba and the decision to charge the police officer who killed him with murder. I am making it based on information which is in the public arena and this may change after any investigation and/or trial.
I do not like the way people have defended the killing of an unarmed man based on his past. The police officer who made the decision to shoot to kill was probably not aware of his past. What the police officer was asked to do was to make a decision to act in a situation when other police officers were at risk. Unarmed men have been shot before by the police. Examples include Mark Duggan, Jermaine Baker, Jean Charles de Menezes and Usman Khan. Some of these are considered my many to be justified, others may disagree.
Mark Duggan was transporting a firearm that had been used in crime. He was unarmed when he was stopped, and from what I understand of the events, was shot when he was probably trying to get rid of the gun. The police officer who made the decision to kill him, had to make it before any other officers were taken down. If he had not been stopped, that gun would probably have been used in other crimes.
Jermaine Baker had an imitation firearm. The police officer who shot him had not been told that it was not a real gun and when the decision was made to kill him, it was based on the threat that he was felt to pose. Failures here rest with not telling the officer that there was no threat, not with the officer who killed him.
Jean Charles de Menezes is a much more complicated case. London was braced for another terror attack after the July 7th attacks which murdered so many. The police had to cover lots of suspects and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some attempted to justify his killing, saying that he should not have run but the officer who shot him was under the assumption that he was a terrorist and was to repeat the attacks earlier that month. The fault is not with the officer who killed an innocent man, but with the whole system leading up to his death.
Last of all, Usman Khan. When he was killed, he was unarmed. He had murdered by then and was wearing a fake suicide vest. The police officer who killed him again did what was felt to be appropriate at the time, though in hindsight, with full knowledge of the facts which were not known at the time, he could have been captured instead.
Many have spoken out against the deaths of unarmed black men. I think that the deaths of the men I have included here were justified in the moment of the decision to kill them, though in hindsight, with knowledge of the facts which where not known to the officer at the time, the wrong decision had been made. It is ironic, though also appalling, that a woman who spoke out against the deaths of unarmed black men is herself the victim of gun crime.
I am not going to defend the deaths of people like Joy Gardener because that was not a split second decision. That was a stupid and fatal decision which should not have happened, and once made, could have been reversed before the horrific consequences occurred.
I am not going to defend the way that Black people are disproportionally searched when white people, who are eight times less likely to be searched, are more likely to be carrying drugs.
What we need to do is accept that individuals are entrusted by us to make literal life and death decisions to protect us. Too many police officers have been killed. I do not want more to die.
Yesterday was the Arsenal game. I was concerned before it, Spurs have won lots of games and even if they had not, it is the North London Derby. It looked close at first, though I would say we had the upper hand until the second equaliser, which I know sounds strange, but we were the better team, but only just. Once Spurs got their second goal, we did not play as well. Passes were overhit and we did not take advantage of the number of Spurs players who were on yellow cards. Ultimately, I would say that overall, Spurs were the better team after our drop in performance.
They played with discipline and I have to be honest, I do not think that we will be celebrating St Totteringhams day this year. At least with a draw, I do not have to hide from the Spurs fans at work!
This film bombed at the box office. I liked it. I think that I would not have minded paying to watch it at the cinema as well. I have not watched much horror, but I need inspiration for my role playing adventures and this is a plot that I might use.
I watched it when my wife and daughter were out for a meal. My son has gone to a sleepover, his second in both a month and since he has been at his secondary school. My wife had not been feeling that well in the day and had rested in bed. While I had a big lunch, my daughter and her were understandably hungry so went out for a meal together, which is when I watched it (my wife is not a fan of horror).
I thought that the film was put together well, that the plot was sound and it had decent acting, direction and characters. I would recommend it to others, and I might even watch it again in the future. I am surprised that it did not do better when it was released, but if you have Netflix in the UK, it is worth watching. Just not before you eat dinner.
If you have watched it, these deleted scenes will make sense. Do not watch them. That is assuming that this video is still available when you read this post.
My wife and I went out to watch live comedy in Colchester. It has been a while since we have done so, the Mercury Theatre hosting it in their Studio. Last time, we sat right at the front. The same happened again as my wife, when asked what seats she wanted, picked them. Being at the front was not too bad, we were only asked a few questions. What freaked me out was saying my age when asked (though I later changed it to 35 as another man my age said that when asked) but also that the couple behind us were both aged 25, this also being the number of years my wife and I have been married! The picture is from the comedian who hosted it, though if you click on the links, you will see that he took two photos that night.
We both enjoyed it, though we disagreed about which act we preferred, and if this was a better night or not than the previous night we had been out. But it was good to do something different and I need to make more of an effort to ensure that our life has a bit more variety in it. I do hope that the last lady enjoys her caravan stay in Clacton. She will find out why we laughed when she said she was off there after the show!
Action to insulate homes where possible is needed. We need new houses to have solar panels and heat pumps installed instead of boilers. While many say that heat pumps do not work, Scandinavian countries are using them more and more.
The government have sold this move by making up things that we were never to do. Even if they were to happen, they have been in power since 2010 so only one party would be responsible for this. When it comes to taxes on meat, we have seen how food prices shot up in the last year. I can understand why the government do not want more taxes on flying considering how they fly short distances or use what are in essence private jets for other journeys. It would open them up to charges of hypocrisy. We recycle in our house, we do not have seven different bins to do so. Car sharing should be encouraged, not made compulsory (and I see people do this at my work to pay less on fuel), and the expensive insulation upgrades should be subsidised to help reduce fuel costs.
The government have made immigration an issue by not acting to process asylum applications quickly. They have made issues like gender identity a greater issue than it need be. And now climate is to be the next battle. They have placed a lot of clear green water between them and Labour, and this is a battle they will lose so long as Labour does not fight them on their terms.
