I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

Today has been an interesting day.  It seemed to start so well.  I am off today and am back at work tomorrow.  Well, I was knackered last night, so did not go into work to catch up with my paperwork as I had planned.  Or rather, I did, but later on in the day.  Part of the reason was that, the other was because my wife is unwell.  Unfortunately, she had been unwell in the night.

So come the morning, I got the kids ready, and took my son to nursery.  He loved the walk.  Until he realised that I had taken him to nursery.  Needless to say he was not happy.  I did feel a bit guilty leaving him there.  My daughter, I took to school later on.  The issue was that I had to take her there with the books that she had read on the weekend.  A problem as I then realised that her book bag was empty. Searched, found two out of the three books.  Searched again.  And then I had ten minutes to take her on a twenty minute walk.  Well that was interesting.  Started by skipping, she naturally became tired, so a speed walk took place with her on my shoulders.

Well, that was a good workout.  I got her there a few minutes late, but fortunately, not too late.

Went to work, got back to go to her school with my still sadly unwell wife, and then was there for a kind of parent-teacher day.  Well, she is doing brilliantly at school.  I am proud of her no matter what she does, but her teacher is proud of her as well.  The only thing is that on the way home, she was ill.  And by ill, I mean vomiting in the car.  Managed to get her back, cleaned her up, cleaned the car up.  And now she is upstairs with my wife, the two of them feeling ill and awful in bed.

My son though is fine.  Which is strange as normally he and my wife are the ill ones.  Mind you, he will probably get this as well.  Did get to pick him up from nursery where I got to sneak in and watch him having a great time.  He gave me such a warm hug when he saw me.  He loved walking back at night, as he got to see loads of car headlights, and then I let him splash in puddles.  And we spent the evening together.  He was a bit upset that his sister gets to go to bed with my wife and that he does not.  But I read him a story in bed and that seemed to calm him down.

It is heartbreaking when they are ill.  Or do not want to be dropped of at nursery.  But while this day has had them being sad, it also had bits where they were very happy.  A shame that they had to be sad as well.  But then, things could be far worse, and I am very lucky to have two great kids, as well as an amazing wife.

Anyway, time to go. 

And I hope you like the song.



A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of

her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?"

"No, Silly" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid £6,000 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid £3, 000 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

I hate it when people misuse big words just to make themselves appear more intransigent.

Well, Arsenal lost.  It was a time when we knew that Newcastle would be up for revenge.  And we lost.

And I did not get to spend the time with the kids at the playground that I was planning to do.  Instead, after waking up late, we played about at home.  I got to feed them breakfast and then just stayed with them as my daughter had two friends coming round.  By the time they came, my son was asleep having been a pain in the day, I suspect because he is a bit unwell.  Anyway, my daughter had fun, and when my son woke up, he did too.  It is always nice to spend time with the kids, but I feel a bit guilty for not doing that much with them today.

Anyway, I do have a few days off this week.  Not all the week, but a few days.  I am aiming to spend Thursday and Friday with them, and though I have Monday off, I am going to be in work anyway catching up on paperwork before being back working for two days.  

Anyway, my guilty pleasure is X factor at the moment.  Really, it is one artist wannabe, though I do think that the competition standard is higher this year than in previous years.  Sad really.  Still might buy the anti-x factor single come Christmas like I did last year.

An amateur magician accidentally turns his wife into a settee and his two kids into armchairs. He starts to panic. He tries every trick in book but none work so, in desperation, he decides to take them to hospital.

Once at casualty, the magician spends a sleepless night while the medical staff run numerous tests on the unfortunate woman and children.

Finally, the head doctor comes out into the corridor to speak to the magician.

"How are my family?" he asks worriedly, "are they alright?"

The doctor replies, "they're comfortable..."

Michael Fitch review

Evening all.  Hope all of you are well.  It has been a little while since my last post, which is a shame as I have had quite a bit to post about!

Right, first of all, last weekend, my daughter had a joint birthday party with two boys from school.  That meant that we shared the costs, and effort, but most importantly, that meant that everyone from her class could be invited to the party.

There was an animated monkey that said that my daughter was its wife which made all the five year olds laugh, and a magician who came with it!  If you are interested in the magician, he was great and I would highly recommend him.

That was on Sunday.  Saturday of course was me at work, though I got to have lunch with the kids.  In the week, my son as been on hunger strike, not eating as much as he normally does, while my daughter has found her appetite not just for learning, but for normal food as well.  Which has meant that now, one of her trousers is tight!  When you have a daughter that was seen by the hosptial as she was too skinny, things like that mean a lot.

Today, they went down to see my wife's parents.  Last night, we got to set of fireworks, which they loved.  Anyway, I am actually posting this while on a break at work.  Am here till midnight.  I am looking forwards to spending time with the kids, and if the weather is nice, I will take them out to one of the local playgrounds again.  Anyway, take care all, and I hope you like the jokes...



NHS: "One in every three smokers die"

So the other two become immortal?

The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it.

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose

Evening all.  I hope you all are well, well that is if anyone other than my mother reads this!

Quick update on the kids.  They are doing well.  Yesterday they went to see my wife's parents.  They loved it there.  The only problem is that they get used to 'no' meaning scream/try harder.  A rule that does not work with my wife and myself.

Tonight, after putting the kids to bed, I am hoping to get to listen to the Arsenal game.  I am concerned that we will get beaten.  We do not travel well to the North East, and Newcastle will be keen to take another big scalp after beating Chelski before.  Mind you, I did not think that we would take three points against Man Sh*tty, but we did.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Evening all. I post after a day at work.

Yesterday after working late at night, I got to spend time with the kids.  My wife unfortunately has been unwell which meant that I had to not catch up with my sleep.  But to be fair, I was lucky as it meant that I got to spend time with the kids!  I took them for their morning walk to the sweetie shop.  And then I had the option to take them back home, or take them for a walk.  So I did.  A long walk for them and they did really well.  And I took them to a different playground.  Well they loved it.  And I had a great time with them.  I am very lucky to have great kids like them.  And I am lucky to spend the time I have with the kids.  While I would love it to be longer I just have to appreciate the time I have, as having more time with them would mean problems in other areas.

And today it was the first day of half term.  So while my son spent time at nursery, my wife spent the day my daughter.  My son suspected something was up, probably because she was not in her school uniform and he asked if his sister was going to school.  And he did not want to go to the nursery.  Well he, like his sister, he is a smart cookie.  Anyway, I have to go to bed, so I will post about the Arsenal match at a later date.

I hear in Norfolk they're going to have their own take on horse racing's Breeders Cup.

It's called The In-breeders Cup

Potent: A shelter for the smallest teletubby.

Just a quick post before I take the kids out for a walk to the sweet shop.
As mentioned in the last post, my wife and I went to a math's evening at my daughters school on Wednesday with games on how to make maths fun.  So yesterday, before I went to work, we played a game of ticks and crosses.   
Using some dice that I use for roleplaying (a d4 and a d6), she would roll the dice, write the numbers and add them together.  

She was very proud to get so many ticks.  And if you are wondering about the title of the post, it refers to Po, one of the Tellytubbies.

Cameron & Clegg - putting the 'n' in cuts!

Well, let me start with my rant on politics. I would have posted sooner, but I forgot how to add pictures onto my blog.  But that has changed and now I can have my rant on politics.

Well, a lot has happened since I last made a post.  Most recently, the government has made loads of cuts.  They want to encourage people to find work, and have done so by making plans to sack loads of people.

And in addition to that, the UK is now to build an aircraft carrier without any planes!  Not that it makes sense to me.

But then I am not as clever as they are.  

I almost feel sorry for the Liberal Democrats.  So many promises made, and so many broken!

They gained loads of votes from people who would have voted labour.  Students for example who did not want to pay fees. 

And for some strange reason, I do not see many of those students voting for them come the next election.  And if crime goes up, I see the Conservatives being screwed.  

And considering that they are going to cut funding to both the police and prisons, hmm....

Anyway, back to the kids.  My daughter had her birthday on Monday.  My side of the family came up on Sunday and spent time with her which she loved, then not only did she let people know about her birthday at school on Monday, but my in-laws came up and picked her up from school!  It was a great two days for her.  A day at Build-A-Bear where she got to build a bear.  A purple one, which she named Purple!  And then on to the Early Learning Centre where she got toys for her fairy castle.  

Come Wednesday, I got back from work to put the kids to bed.  There was a maths evening at her school to which parents were invited to learn how to encourage getting kids to learn maths.  So my mother-in-law came up to babysit and then we got the kids ready for bed.  Just as we were about to go, my son did an Exorcist and then my daughter hearing her brother cry (and after being told by the mother-in-law that we were about to leave) burst out in tears.  Needless to say we were a bit late.  Anyway, time to go. Arsenal are to play Man City today and I am hoping we get to win. 

A blonde and a brunette were hanging off of a bridge. A boy had to pick which one to save. He said that he picked the blonde, so she clapped.


My mate said to me, "Can you give me a bed for the night?"


I said, "Yes, but you'll have to bring it back in the morning."