Taking the toxicity out of the debate on gender

Sorry to bang on about gender again.  But I have had some interesting discussions with my daughter and son over this, and there have been some recent interventions.

When watching The Last of Us with my son, he asked me about what I thought about Pedro Pascal and his view on JK Rowling.  My view is that he appears to have been taken into the toxicity about what JK Rowling has not said, rather than what she has said.  In February, Pascal shared the quote: “A world without trans people has never existed and never will,” on Instagram, dividing his followers. After some threatened to unfollow him, he reiterated his stance, writing: “I can’t think of anything more vile and small and pathetic than terrorising the smallest, most vulnerable community of people who want nothing from you, except the right to exist.”  I have been on record saying that I do not agree with all that JK Rowling has done, notably the way she misgenders people.  I suspect that she has been radicalised on this by social media and I would like to concentrate on the things she said in the past that I agree with. But while I used to defend her when people called her transphobic, I am reluctant to do so now.

My daughter and I have discussed this, but she is not keen on reading the essay that Rowling wrote five years ago. I do hope this changes, but she is to discuss this with me further.  

But, what I want to discuss, and issue I have mentioned to my children, is how this issue has become toxic. 

 

But while the debate is often toxic, it does not have to be.  David Tennant, when asked about JK Rowling spoke out in a manner which I think was quite pleasant.  I wish that debate on this matter could occur in a civil manner.  Others have done so. 

I accept that many are to consider me to be transphobic, a label my children do not agree with.  But I think it is important to summarise my current views.  I say current as they have changed over time.

There are many gender identities and we should accept that. 

Just because you identify as something does not mean you are it. Rachel Dolezal identified as being black, despite having two white parents. Very few people accept the way she identifies herself as correct. 

 

Other than in schools, I consider the use of toilets by someone who identifies as a non-binary gender to be acceptable. The only time I have seen genitalia in toilets was using the urinals as a child (as an adult, we do not look). However, if women are exposed to male genitalia in that situation, the perpetrator should face the full weight of the law. 

 

It should be up to each sport to decided if transgender competitors can compete based on the gender they identify with. I see no reason for the state to get involved.

 

Communal changing areas should be subject to segregation based on genitalia. I have been to shops where changing areas are unisex and there was an attendant to ensure no theft took place who also would have been a witness if anything untoward happened. 

 

No sex offender with a penis should be in a female jail. 

 

A child who wishes to socially transition at school without informing their parents should be allowed to do so, but just as this applies to a teenager seeking an abortion, that child should be encouraged to involve their parents. But, that child should still use facilities based on biological sex.