There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

I was reading a post on the confessions of a House Husband before.  The discussion there was about kids doing dangerous things.  Now on that post, it was referring to the kids going down a helter skelter.  I presume it was at the park in town, one which my kids have been to before.  But then in the post, it refers to a child younger than my kids are, and they have gone through that stage.

Anyway, forgive my rambling.  The reason I referred to this was because my kids were in the garden earlier today.  On the climbing frame that I had started to put up ages ago (it is now completed, almost).  Anyway, I looked out into the garden and almost had a heart attack.  On the picture on the link you can not see the bit at the back which kids can climb on.  Quite high for kids.  Anyway, my daughter had climbed up to the top and was trying to climb over it to go down on the other side.  I was tempted to go out and stop her, but why get a climbing frame only to stop kids climbing on it?  The thing is, she is almost five,  My son is two and a half.  He watched, and learned.  Next thing was that I saw (from inside the house) was my son climbing up the frame, determined to do what she did.  He did get quite high, and did manage to get back down again.  Without falling.  For now...

Anyway, I am found a site that I am hoping might encourage my daughter to read.  Once she has finished watching Strictly Come Dancing (thanks to Sky Plus), I will see if it works or not.







I managed to get my son to watch some football this morning.  I tried to get him to watch Arsenal, but he got bored.  Shock horror!  Especially when it was a great game.  Of course Arsenal were a bit fortunate with one foul.  And Bolton were unfortunate with another.  But it is nice to see that ref's are going to punish the challenges that have literally broken players seasons.

   
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns.


   

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Sorry, but I have to have a long overdue rant on politics.


The government in their wisdom have decided that people need to get off benefits.  And they are also going to make loads of people employed by the state (directly or indirectly) unemployed by making loads of job cuts.  So, at the same time as unemployment is going to increase, both help and benefits to those who are unemployed are going to be cut.  And this makes sense how?

I understand the view of many on the Labour Party that the drastic spending cuts being planned now are insane.  At a time when the economy needs to recover, sacking loads of people makes no sense.  Without money, they will no longer be able to buy things, which means that the economy will no longer be stimulated.  Let alone a progressive budget that will actually harm those who are less well off.  As noted by Ed Balls on Any Questions on Friday night, cuts that are too drastic can harm the economy, not just in the same manner as they did in the great depression, but also by resulting in a problem with the nations credit rating as has happened in Eire.  Loads of people love to talk about the deficit, but when you look at the deficit compared to GDP, the UK actually is not that bad.

RANK COUNTRY (% OF GDP) DATE OF INFORMATION

1 Zimbabwe 282.60 2009 est. 2 Japan 189.30 2009 est. 3 Saint Kitts and Nevis 185.00 2009 est. 4 Lebanon 156.00 2009 est. 5 Jamaica 124.50 2009 est. 6 Italy 115.20 2009 est. 7 Greece 113.40 2009 est. 8 Singapore 113.10 2009 est. 9 Iceland 107.60 2009 est. 10 Sudan 103.70 2009 est. 11 Belgium 97.60 2009 est. 12 Sri Lanka 86.70 2009 est. 13 Egypt 80.10 2009 est. 14 Israel 78.40 2009 est. 15 Hungary 78.00 2009 est. 16 France 77.50 2009 est. 17 Portugal 76.90 2009 est. 18 Canada 75.40 2009 est. 19 Germany 72.10 2009 est. 20 Malta 69.40 2009 est. 21 Austria 69.30 2009 est. 22 United Kingdom 68.10 2009 est.

As you can see, the UK is in a better position than many of our EU counterparts.

Anyway, time to go.  Hope you all take care.   

I used to do a lot of rock climbing when I was younger, but I was much boulder back then.

Morning all. Hope you are all well.


I am in bed with the kids. My new job while much closer to home involves me working harder. Much harder than I thought. I felt that I did more than my fair share at my old place, examples being prescriptions and covering sickness. But this place is different. The work is divided in an equal manner, but there is more of it. So today, before I moonlight this afternoon, I am going into work to do some of the backlog of work that has built up.


Which means that I will not get to spend as much time with the kids. And they only stay small for so long.


My son has learned how to get women to do his bidding. When my wife has some kids and parents over, he would tell one mother that he needed to do a poo. The thing is that he has yet to be toilet/potty trained. We try and fail. But he loved getting grown women to strip him and wait on him!


My daughter in the meantime came back from school yesterday with a plaster on her knee. She fell down in the playground. Yes she did cry (a tiny bit she now says) and got both a plaster and a bravery sticker. Next week she starts full days! My daughter has moved on to that next stage. At the moment when she talks about what happened at school she seems to forget that she is being taught things. But I am hoping it is going in.


Anyway, take care all and I hope you like this joke...


Woman - A Chemical Analysis


Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.


Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.


Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.


Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.


Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.


Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.

Next time you eat egg, just keep in mind, you're eating a chicken's period.

Evening all.  I have a minute or two to make a long overdue post.  Okay more than a minute or two.  My lovely wife got a film for us to watch, which I am watching.  I love films, used to watch loads before kids.  Used to buy them when they were cut price, normally from HMV which I felt had the best high street deals.  

Anyway, a lot has happened since I last posted.  I guess I shall stick to the big things.  Which is that my daughter had her first day at school on the day before yesterday.  My wife had made me take the day off work, and I had said that I was doing it to be there to support her, not my daughter.  Well, come the big day, my daughter did really well.  My wife did really well, and me, well I was an emotional wreck.  To be fair, unlike some of the other mothers, or even the kids, I did not bawl.  But until we got to pick up my daughter, I was in a mood. My son was unhappy that his sister was being left, partly as being at school appeared to be so much fun, and partly as I think he realised that she was not going to be around all the time.

It did not help that my daughter, at the end of the day as well as being tired was ill.  Now this is the house of ill again.  My wife is ill, I am ill, my daughter is ill, and strangely, for now, my son is well.  (Bet that does not last.)  Anyway, at home on Thursday, she was burning up and was tired.  That was an enjoyable day!  To be fair she was well enough to go to school the next day. Yes she had a temperature of over 39 in the morning, but it was only a half day and paracetamol works wonders.  And she lasted the day, and had a great time.   

Anyway, while I was at work today, I get to spend tomorrow with my family.  Hopefully all of them will be well.

My son came home from school looking all excited.
"I got a B on my reading test," he told me.
"That's a D," I replied.
 

My girlfriend says I am no good with money. She won't be saying that when my 10,000-1 bet on Blackpool to win the prem comes in!

Evening all.
It has been an interesting time since I last posted.

I went out for a drink and managed to annoy those I went out drinking with.  I have a tendency to rant when drunk.  I have been noted on one occasion to annoy some Daily Mail readers, which was not a problem other than I had to apologise to the hosts of the meal we had gone to due to the nature of my comments.  Annoying right wing bigots when drunk, fine.  Annoying friends, not good.

Work has been better.  I am getting used to the new computer system, and also I think that I am getting used to the increased workload.  It is strange working somewhere where everyone tries to support each other, as opposed to working somewhere were certain senior people seemed to be trying to find new and interesting ways not to work.

Anyway, the kids.  They have been fine.  They went to watch Toy Story 3 this week. I did not get to go, being at work.  My wife took them with her mother.  It was the first time my son got to watch a film at the cinema, not so with my daughter who has already watched Up.  Apparently, his tendency to scream "Scary" did not seem to annoy other people there, but served to amuse. I hope!
They have also been raspberry picking.  It was meant to be strawberry picking, but they are no longer in season.  My daughter loves raspberries.  My son thought it would be great, until he tasted them.  He forgot that he does not like them!  Sneaky git today decided to tell me that his sister did a poo in his nappy.  When I asked him what she would say if I asked her, he, the two year old went "Shhh!"  Needless to say, I do not think that my daughter did a poo in his nappy and them put it on him.

I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic."

Thank god I only drink every night.

Wouldn't it be ironic if you died in the living room?

Afternoon all.  I am moonlighting to get some extra dosh to cover the crash of my pay cut.
But, I got to spend the morning with the kids.  Last night, I went out for a drink with two friends.  I suspect that I may have said things that I should not though!  Anyway, on getting back, I passed out and woke up, wimp that I am when it comes to booze, a bit worse for wear.  Now to be fair, it was self inflicted.  And the kids, who normally sense weakness on my part, and exploit it to the full we actually nice.  Not just to me, but too each other.  I would like to think that it was down to me not resorting to a default position of yelling at them, but rather encouraging them.  But I suspect it was luck, and the fact that at heart, they are both nice kids.

I also took them out for a walk.  It had been raining, and so I got them in wellies, so that they could jump in puddles.  And the moron that I am, I forgot to put my sons jeans inside the wellies!  But to be fair, my daughter, who was wearing leggings, had hers soaked with all the water they both jumped in.  

My wife was concerned that my son might be colour blind.  Today I was able to prove her wrong!  Through the use of M&M's I was able to feed him them, everytime he got one of the colours right.  It is amazing how quickly he learns when food is put in front of him!


Anyway, time to go.  And if you are interested in a proper blog on bringing up kids, try this link.  I liked it!

I was thinking of writing a book 'A guide to better shoplifting'....but who the hell is going to buy it?

Evening all.  Just thought that I would post an update.  Had breakfast with the family today, and then went to work!



While I was at work, they went to the beach.  And my wife had to go into the sea with them!   Muhahahaha!  Got back from work to find my kids still loving the fact that they had been to the beach.  My son is learning more and more when it comes to speaking and asked be to blow some bubbles with him in the garden.  And I found it very hard to say no to him.

Work is still great.  Stressful getting used to a new system.  But the thing is, that they want to work to high standards.  And if there are queries, they let you know (as I found out today when there was a slight concern over me and the work that was building up) and are more than willing to support others.  And yes, I have made the right decision.  Even though it is only a week that I have been there.

Anyway,time for that joke...

The other day the wife said to me "Its obvious women are smarter than men. Think about it! Diamonds are a girls best friend; mans best friend is a dog." to which i replied "lets see a diamond rescue you when your drowning". That wiped the smug look off her face.