Why is it called a 'bear' when it's clearly covered in fur?

Evening all.

I have spent a week, mostly alone this week.  My wife took the kids down to her parents as now it is Easter, there are less things to do for the kids up here.  There are still loads of things that they can do, but she used the break to teach them how to swim.  Well, my son being two years old can not learn to swim, but he can learn to like being in a swimming pool.
Anyway, they are back now.  Spent some time in the garden with them while I was mowing the lawn.  And my son now likes Doctor Who!

But time to go to bed, hope you like the joke in the meantime.

What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?
1: You can hide your own Easter eggs.
2: You are always meeting new people.
3: You never have to watch reruns on television.
4: You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Doctor Who

Arsenal 1-0 Wolves
Evening all.  Not much has happened since I last posted.  I have not had as much time with my family as I would like as I have been working.  In fact I was actually working when my daughter got to watch Doctor Who last night!
But I got to watch it for myself today, this morning in fact.

As for the kids, well, they are still adorable.  Took them cycling up and down our road today.  My son has a tricycle and is learning to pedal.  My daughter though has a bike with stabilisers (thanks to friends who have given us it) and she is getting more confident with riding it, being better able to do so the more she tries.  

And of course, they have loved Easter.  Something about chocolate...

Anyway, the Arsenal match.  We were lucky.  But in order to be really lucky, I need ManUre to drop points as well as Chelski. 

My girlfriend left me because I was forgetful. It all started yesterday morning.

...Or was it evening...?

I'll ask my girlfriend, she'll know.

The East Anglian Railway Museum

Arsenal 2-2 Barcelona

Today has been nice so far. Woke up today in a bad mood. My wife took me to the East Anglian Railway Museum. Having lived in Colchester for a while, I have wanted to go for ages. And of course, the kids were surprised by the trip as well. My daughter thought that we were going to go to a farm and was surprised to find that we were at a Railway station with an old steam engine outside. Even better, she actually met the Fat Controller!
It was a great day out and both the kids loved it. They got to ride on Thomas the Tank Engine, and Daisy. We had the option to ride on Percy and Toby, but as my son was getting tired, we decided to call it a day. Mind you, it does take time as the engines take it in turns.

My daughter is looking forwards to Dr Who tomorrow, and my wife is annoyed as at the moment, she is watching one of the old episodes from the past.

Anyway, time to talk about the match. I did not get to watch it because of my appraisal, but I did get to listen to bits on may way home from it. I still think that Arsenal can and will go through. To get knocked out by Inter in next round which will be a pity.

What do call a chip pan in Glasgow containing no chips?

Soup.

Brain dead today and it is my appraisal!

Arsenal sweat on Cesc injury

Afternoon all. That is afternoon to all who decide to read this.

Am in bed finishing the final touches to my appraisal documents which are going to be looked at today. I have to admit, this year I have not been as keen to retain my edge as I have been in previous years. So it will be interesting. You know, at times, I almost feel sorry for those who appraise me. I look at it as an opportunity to develop myself. Which means that in order to get the best out of it, I need to bear all. Warts and all. The big down side though is that I am going to miss the Arsenal match against Barcelona. I am confident that we should win. We came close in the European cup final in the past, and when teams are foolish enough to play football against us, we win.

Anyway, my family are having their nap next to me. It has been great being with the kids today. Have not had that much energy, and my brain is refusing to get out of second gear, but they always make me smile. To describe them as, well anything, just does not do them justice. Today, while feeding them lunch, my daughter asked my to be nasty to her when I was trying to get her to eat! So I obliged. She should have known better! But other than that, I think that they have liked the time they have spent with me today. Assuming I get home from my appraisal in time, I might even get to read them a bed time story. But I doubt it.

Anyway, time for that joke, then back to getting things ready for my appraisal.


500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these chastity belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook.

Classic Oriental Colchester review

Wenger sweating on Fabregas fitness


Evening all.

First of all, the match. We drew. Which means that we have fallen behind in the title race. I do not think that we were bad, but rather Birmingham were good. Chances were had by both teams, and we had more and better ones. If we had put more away, we would still be in second place. Instead we are in third and need several results to go our way if we are to have a chance of taking the title.
Anyway, since Wednesday, I have had to work late at work so have not seen my lovely kids that much. Till yesterday that is. However, I have not been able to make the most of things as I have been taken down with a virus. I am hoping that it is not the one that made my wife have to take to bed for a week at her parents. But today I am still knackered. Anyway, the kids have been great. Normally I like to take them for walks. But this weekend, I have not been able to. In fact, they instead have spent time in the garden. I still have to make the climbing frame safe for them. Since putting it up, I need to tighten the bolts. I guess it would have helped if it had been put up on level ground rather than on the uneven grass that is our lawn. And I guess it would help if I had a single bone of DIY in my body. But even when I am not 100%, it is a pleasure and an honour to be around them. And of course my wife.
Yesterday, Lynn and Steve came round and helped with a few jobs my wife does not trust me to do. Also we took the kids out to the shops, and also to Homebase. That was of course before Steve and Lynn came round. I managed to do somethings, like put bark chips down where the kids playhouse is of if they fall, it should not hurt too much. And then once they came round, they kids loved it. Steve is liked by the kids, but they do love Lynn! Anyway once the kids were in bed, beer (wine for the ladies) and food from our local Chinese takeaway, Classic Oriental in Prettygate. A review of which I now have put up on Google. If you have clicked here to read about it can can not be bothered to click on the link above, try it. I think that it is a great takeaway.

Anyway, time to end this with a joke...
A French man has the new world record for having 13 fingers and 12 toes. He said he wants to move to a place where he will be treated as a normal person.

I hear he has just moved into a place in Norfolk.

Arsenal 2-0 West Ham

Arsenal 2-0 West Ham

Evening all.  Spent the weekend with the kids.  Mostly.  Friday, watched a film with the lads.  The Hurt Locker.  An interesting film, and one that it was nice to be able to watch.  Too depressing for my wife to watch really.

Anyway, my wife was ill last week and spent a lot of time down at her parents.  Which meant that I did not get to see my kids that much.  So when I saw them on Saturday, it was even better than normal.  Sunday, took them to the zoo which they loved.  And spending time with them was brilliant.  Today, took them to a farm shop, they loved the chickens and want some.  Not something I am too keen on.  Anyway, time to send some pictures if I can.

Hope you like the joke.  The video below is what my daughter likes watching right now.

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford :

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of you realises the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it.

Can anyone tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70 year old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,

"Wedding Cake."

The definition of irony - A man who walks outside for fresh air but then smokes.

Good day to you all. My kids are back. Though with my wife not being that well, they might be gone again tomorrow. Spent today with them, and bless them, they still love me, even though they have not seen me for the last two days.

Anyway, knackered after working very late last night.

A duck hunter is out early one morning hunting ducks. He's not having a lot of luck and he's about ready to pack it in and go home.
Then he catches a break and shoots a duck. The duck falls to the ground on the other side of a fence. He hops the fence to grab the duck
and a farmer appears from nowhere and asks "What are you doing with my duck?" The hunter says "That's my duck! I shot it." The farmer replies "Doesn't matter -- it's on my land. But I'll tell you what. We'll take turns kicking each other in the nuts as hard as we can until one of us gives up. The winner keeps the duck. Oh, and I kick first." So the farmer winds up and kicks the hunter square in the nuts. The pain is so awful the hunter throws up and then collapses. 10 minutes later, he tentatively gets to his feet and says "Okay, my turn."

To which the farmer replies "That's okay, you can keep the duck."