The invisibility curse

My blog as vanished from the Bing search engine.  By strange coincidence, I am having a discussion about various matters with what appears to be employees of a Russian Troll factory.  I may be doing them a disservice saying this, as they be nothing to do with Russia.

The discussion started about how Russia was responsible for the destruction of MH17 (they blame anyone but), but has evolved into one on sexual assault.

I am not sure how long my blog will be invisible on Bing.  Hopefully not for too long and I hope that they do not get to hack it.

The To Do List

My daughter loves this film.  Comparing it to American Pie, I think that this comes up short, but that is a film looking at adolescent sexuality from a male perspective, while this is from a female one.  I do want my children to be open and honest about sex and issues about it with me.  Watching this with my daughter was a bit traumatic for both of us, more so for me though.

It was an enjoyable comedy and I can see why she, and I suspect her friends like this so much.  I am not as sure that parents would want to watch it, especially with children in the room.

Where has the squirrel gone?

This morning I woke up late, but that was taking into account the change from daylight saving to summertime hours.  My son woke with Leia, though his aim was to go on the switch,  this was fine as he had agreed to go to ASDA with my wife in the day.  My daughter had planned to wake in the morning to accompany me to work, but as she was sleep, once my son took Leia out into the garden for her toilet break, I took her to Highwoods Country Park.  However the walk for Leia was cut short as my son changed his mind and I returned home to accompany my wife to the click and collect point for our supplies.

I went into work to catch up with some overdue items to find that despite being on holiday, some people have been giving me work to do! So I spent an hour doing that work instead.  Later, my daughter and I returned home for a very late lunch with my wife (my son had eaten at a more sensible time) and then my daughter and I took Leia back to Highwoods Country Park for her walk.  My son was invited but decided to stay at home instead.

Leia loves the park.  My daughter, who had recently finished watching all the Criminal Minds episodes did not want to walk too far ahead of me in the woods, but I think enjoyed the walk with Leia.  I have a week off left and am not sure if I should exercise in my bike, or by taking Leia back here more often.  Leia loves chasing squirrels but appears to have forgotten that they climb trees, running around the tree to search for them.  This is despite her seeing them run up trees in the park before as well as watching them do that in our garden.  Maybe she is not that smart after all...

Anyway, the evening was finished off by watching Line Of Duty with my wife.  It appears that another police officer is being blackmailed into being corrupt.  I hope, as this was an issue used before, that they turn the tables on those blackmailing them.  Watching Bloodlands earlier this month was enjoyable, and to be fair, I have liked all the productions of Jed Mercurio. 

13 Reasons Why; Tape 5, Side A

Just finished watching this with my son. A truly horrific episode.  He is already aware of the importance of consent, and also of the case of Brock Allen Turner with the sentence he was given.  After watching it, we discussed victim blaming and how that has occurred even when there has been photographic/video evidence that the woman was not able to give consent.  

On a lighter note, I took Leia to Highwoods park again today.  She loved it.  It was a shorter walk than before only being an hour, but she enjoyed meeting other dogs as well as the different environment. I think she caught sight of one squirrel today but I cannot be certain.

In addition to this, we did a bit of work dismantling the climbing frame today.  It is now down, and I will need to complete the job over the coming week.

Domestic violence is wrong

Today I was reminded of the violence that I saw at home growing up.

My parents both loved me, and while my father did not care to contact me when I was over the age of 20, I am grateful to what he taught me as a child.

He also taught me how not to be.  

He used to hit my mother, and it was always her fault.  My children know that I do not like violence at home, and when younger, they quickly learned not to blame the person they hit for hitting them. 

13 Reasons Why; Tape 4, Side B

Another day, another side to the tape of Hannah Baker.  This shows a betrayal of trust following a very personal experience.  I have not written poetry since I was in secondary school, but the poem that Hannah wrote was a very personal one.  To have her private thoughts shared to an audience she did not want to see it was a betrayal of trust, one that she had explained the importance of in the episode.  

In itself, would I say that this was a major issue for the mental health of a person?  No, but combined with the other twelve reasons (some of which are milder than others), I can see how someone would be suicidal after such a barrage of insults to their self esteem.

I still consider her suicide to be the cowards way out, and likewise, the effect her death has on those around her is explored in this episode more than it was touched on in the book.

In other news, I took Leia to Highwoods Country Park for the first time.  She loved it.  She got to meet other dogs (she will not obey the guidance on hands face and space) and also had fun chasing after squirrels and birds.  I was impressed when she realised that they would run up trees, though watching her touch a twig with her paw looking up the tree was sweet!

Sneaking time off with my wife

Wednesday is my day were I do my other job.  I have been on holiday from my main job, but have attended meetings already in the days before today so I was able to finish earlier than normal and was able to sit in the garden with my wife.  Leia joined us, but decided not to rest, as can be seen in this video....

With the kids at school, being able to be together without them was a time where we could bond more.  Though I did have to return to do some work after this video was taken, it was great to sit with her in the garden.

13 Reasons Why; Tape 4, Side A

Yesterday my son and I watched this episode. 

It is one which involves some quite mean behaviour.  I think that I got this more watching this than reading the book.

The vindictiveness of the acts towards her no matter what media this chapter was experienced through though is sadly, all too true for too many people.

This Is Us; Her

My wife made me watch this ages ago, and I have been watching it from time to time.  Tonight, I watched the final episode of the third series.  And it made me cry.

When it comes to the men in the series, my favourites, other than Jack of course, are Randall and Toby.  In this series, it appeared that Randall was to break up with Beth.  But thanks to the intervention of one of the characters, he saw sense, as his more sensible wife came to her senses as well.

The point? Deja reminds Randall that he needs to get it together and figure things out with Beth. “Most people don’t win, Randall, but you did—you won the lottery twice. Once when you got adopted and again when you met Beth,” she tells him.

It reminds me of what I said once about my wife.  Well, I said it once and I have continued to say this since then.  The first time that I can remember saying this was after my wife and I got married.  My father-in-law had said that someone who saw the wedding pictures had said that I had won the lottery by marrying into his family.  I responded by saying that I had won the lottery of love. Like Randall in This Is Us.  Like Randall, I won the lottery twice, once when I met my wife, and the time before that was when my Mother left my Father while pregnant.  Thanks to her, I became the person my wife fell in love with.  

For the record, I love both Beth and Randall, but while I disagreed with her in the lead up to this episode (not that Randall was right about things either), I am definitely Team Beth as she shows extraordinary patience in dealing with her husband.

 

My children and the dog are bullies

I was subjected to an unprovoked and brutal assault by my children.  I was trying to help my daughter up from the floor when I slipped, the children and Leia then took the opportunity to attack me.  Allegations that I pinned my daughter down for Leia to lick her are obviously wrong, and so are similar allegations that I did the same to my son later.  What I do not understand is why my dog attacked me by licking me when I am obviously the Alpha. 

Yes Day

This started as an okay film which my wife and daughter watched, but became one which was poor at the end.  My son was not in the mood to watch something together so stayed upstairs in his room, and it can be argued that that was the better choice.  To be fair, it was nice to watch it as an almost family and this is a film that would appeal to kids more than adults but only at the end of the film.

I think that the best bit of the film was the father and daughter moment singing to Epic, by Faith No More.

I am not sure who this film is aimed at as I think that it fails to hit any target.  There are worse films out there and I would have much preferred to watch another film with my wife and daughter.  Saying that, my wife fell asleep towards the end of the film, and considering that this is where the film started to fail, that was quite sensible of her!

13 Reasons Why; Tape 3, Side B

It was good to watch this with my son.  The main issue here was how rumours can affect how others see you.  That and sexual assault.  Again.  

My son did not like being a man after watching it, though there was one person who was decent to Hannah.  

Comparing this episode to the book is hard, as they are very different media.  The book gets across the pain that Hannah feels, while this episode concentrates more on the other issues taking place at the school.  I have to say that if I had the tape, I would not be able to listen to them over a long period of time like Clay in the series, but like in the book, would want to listen to the tapes as quickly as I could.  

Meghan Markle and THAT interview

I am in the surprising position of siding more with Piers Morgan than with Meghan Markle over her interview.  Before I watched it, I was not, and was a lot more sympathetic to her.  Issues like the way her father has cashed in to berate her in public disgust me, not just the father for doing so, but the way some of what has been said has been manipulated to frame her in a worse light. But since watching it, I have changed.

There is a difference in how Harry came across in his interview on the bus about what happened.  He talked about the appalling way that elements of the media treated his wife, he talked about how this affected his mental health.  Of course, with Meghan being pregnant, she is not able to go on an assault course, or be taken to the house of the Prince of Bel Air.

There is always going to be an issue about who has said what and how it was said.  The issue of who made who cry is going to be a matter of perception.  There are ways to ask about the skin colour of a baby which are innocent, and there are ways to ask which are racist, and I can see how she will take offence when hearing about the comment.  But the facts are that Archie has not been discriminated against when it came to being called a prince based on his skin colour.  

I do not agree with everything that Piers Morgan has said, but I am not going to trust someone in an interview who has got an issue about royal titles wrong.  Saying that, while wrong, I understand that Meghan Markle will have issues about joining the Royal Family when so many elements of the press have been so cruel about her.

The sad thing is that now, people are focusing on her insinuation of racism from a member of the Royal Family rather than ignoring how she was so harshly judged on the same matters where her sister-in-law was praised.  

Coming 2 America

This was an enjoyable film.  Predictable in many areas, and also, like to original, cringeworthy at times.

I am not sure how enjoyable it will be for those who have not watched the original which found the right balance between tacky and genius.  In my view, this fell of the line into being too tacky at times, but this was not a film mainly aimed at me.  As you can see from the number of stars, current and past in it, this is a film with a particular audience in mind.

With a very predictable plot, I would imagine that this is not something that those who have not watched the original would love as much as someone like me will.  Overall, an enjoyable film, but I am not certain if that is because of the film, or because I wanted to see what happened to Prince Akeem, Queen Lisa and Semmi.  

My daughter tested positive today

We just had a scare today.  My wife and I were conducting our lateral flow tests and tested my daughter for her school.  She tested positive.

She was distraught, not knowing how this happened and terrified that she was going to give this to my wife and I.  However, it turned out to be a false alarm.  We had used a different testing kit for my daughter, my wife and I having the NHS employee testing carried out on ourselves twice a week.  The test that was used on my daughter, had a similar packet to that we use, and it was only after about 20 minutes of terror, that we realised that the kit that had been used was the positive control test.  The actual tests that we were meant to use, come in packets that look more like sweet wrappers.  

She tested negative and needless to say, we can be assured that the positive control test kit works.

Maze Runner: The Death Cure

The end of the trilogy was fun.  Bearing in mind, that this is a teenage film, I can ignore errors such as airborne helicopters not being able to see a lit settlement before the people in it were able to hear them (and switch off all the lights) or how a city outside a city was able to survive without anywhere to grow food.

Other than those two huge errors, it was an enjoyable film and conclusion to the trilogy.  My son joined my daughter and I as we watched it.  Overall, I would have to say that this was not as good as the Hunger Games Trilogy, but was better than Divergent (which started with an awesome film). 

I may be biased though, watching a film about a filler virus which ravages humanity while the world is affected by COVID may alter my perception of the film!

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

This day was spent recharging my batteries.  I had been for a walk with Leia earlier on, but when at home, once left to my own devices, I decided to watch the next instalment in The Maze Runner trilogy.

The film was criticised for issues with character development, but bearing in mind that this is a teenage film, not one for adults, it was a good film.  The plot was not as predictable as I feared it would be, and overall, I can see why my daughter likes the books.  The issues I had with the film were minor, and I think that it is a shame I did not taken the, into watch this when it had come out.

The Maze Runner

Today was an unproductive day. Well, not as productive as I would have liked it to be.  I did go into work, but did not work as efficiently as I would like.  When at home, while my wife was watching Criminal Minds with my daughter, and my son was on the Nintendo Switch, I watched The Maze Runner.  

I had tried to watch it before, but only got to watch the first few minutes.  I had heard a lot about it and I was glad to watch it.  I have to say, I really liked it, but was left wondering how the star and romantic lead were teenagers when the back story about the characters came to light.

But this is a film for teenagers, and I can see why my daughter liked the book.

13 Reasons Why; Tape 3, Side A

While I watched this on Wednesday, I felt that considering that all the other episodes have been discussed, this deserved it's own post as well.  Mainly because of my annoyance at the difference in how people are being made to face the consequences of their actions.  Being a nerd, the way one has been judged compared to the other is an issue which I find hard to move on from.

Overall, the episode was quite sweet, well the positive parts were.  Not counting the trauma of course.  Part of the reason that this may not grate with me is that the only identification I had with this was the inability to ask a pretty woman for a dance when I was younger.  Saying that, Clay is far cooler than I was when I was that age. 

 

13 Reasons Why; Tape 2, Side B

We finished watching this yesterday.  We had started to watch this before but had to stop to get sleep.  This episode raised quite a few issues which my son and I disagreed on.  I felt that one person in the school was being unfairly penalised for what they did when their peers were in essence getting away with the actions that they took.  But it is easier for all of us to deflect the blame on others than to accept our own failings.

It did bring up an issue of how some people are punished less than others based on who they are or the background that they are from, an example that I discussed with my son was the case of Brock Turner and how he 'got away' with a lighter sentence after a horrific sexual assault on an unconscious women, and how this was perceived to be based on his privilege. My son does not know how this issue will be revisited in later episodes.

In essence we disagree.  I feel that the subject of this tape, while wrong in what he did, does not deserve to be singled out for retribution.  My son felt he did.  His view on this may change tomorrow, or may change after watching other episodes.  But I did remember that discussing the episodes is not about me forcing my view on him, but to learn about his view on the issues raised as well. 

I Care a Lot

My wife found I Care a Lot hard to watch and had very strong feelings towards one of the characters in this film. It addresses Elder Abuse and the financial exploitation that occurs towards some of them.

Working in healthcare, this is something that I have to be aware of, and something that I have taken action against. The film does address how hard it can be to pick it up, though what happens in the film is harder to take place here in the UK.

It is a great film, one that I would recommend to all, but due to its subject matter, I would not watch it if you have been affected by the issues raised in the film.  Not knowing much about this, the film was full of lots of surprises and was not one that I could really predict, a feature in films that I value a lot.  I have to say that this does live up to the recommendations to watch it.  The most important recommendation about this film is not to watch the trailers as they will stop you from fully enjoying the film.

Cancel Culture and McCarthyism

Last week, I listened to a very interesting video on Cancel Culture.  It was surprising because it was a YouTube influencer who spoke out against it, and therefore, she was putting herself at risk of Cancel Culture. Others have spoken about it before, doing so eloquently, though with a few swear words included.  

I do think that it has a place, an example being people avoiding playing video's or songs of Gary Glitter so that he is denied the royalties that he would get otherwise.  I know that I would not be able to watch The Cosby Show now, not that I can imagine that this is shown anymore.  

Yesterday I watched another video which compared what is happening now with Cancel Culture to McCarthyism of the past.  Bill Maher is right, and these views were shown in the film of the 90's Guilty By Suspicion, where those with views which were deemed to be unacceptable, we silenced.  

If we silence the space for people to talk about matters we drive conversations underground and cannot engage with them.  People like Trump have been elected by people who felt afraid to discuss views, and if they had been allowed to air them, maybe they would have felt listened to and not voted for a racist misogynist instead.  Anna Akana talks about how it is important to accept that people may have had views in the past that they may regret and how it is important to allow people to be judged on who they are now, not on who they were in the past.

I do not want to live in a world where only acceptable views are discussed.  I am biased, as in the past, I have had views that would not be considered acceptable and no doubt, will have such views in the future.  

First bike ride of the year

Yesterday I went for my first bike ride of the year, this being with my son.  I have not been on my bike as much as I would like to be, notably since late December.  This time last year, I was still cycling about eight miles on a Wednesday to my other job and cycling back afterwards.  Due to the pandemic and working from home, that is not taking place now and after stopping that, I realised just how much exercise I got from it and how important it was to helping to keep my weight down.  I continued to cycle to my work on weekends, but stopped this at the end of last year as my daughter wanted to come into work with me so that she could do her homework in one of the rooms.  

I would still cycle on a Wednesday until we got Leia and since I have been working to vaccinate people (or most of the time, mixing the vaccines) on a Wednesday, I have been cycling even less.  So the need to get on my bike was very important.  This was even more important as my son rides his bike to school and we wanted to ensure that he was able to do so as he has not been very active over lockdown.

Last week had not been a good week for my relationship with my children, and on Saturday this appeared to get even worse.  Saturday had amazing weather, but my son did not want to use this to cycle.  He insisted on cycling on Sunday which was not going to be ideal as I was working in the morning.  On Sunday morning before I went to work, this did not look like it was going to be a good thing as it was cold and foggy.  

When I got back from vaccinating, I showered and got to eat my lunch and recharged by batteries before we went on our bike ride.  I have to say, it was really enjoyable, and I was very impressed with my son who was fitter than me on the way to his school and while, as usual, I was better than him on the way back, there was not much difference in it.  The most important part of this is that his road awareness was much better.  My only concern was his lack of awareness of the dangers of cycling with the sun being low in the sky, but he did really well.  

I do hope to continue cycling with him before he returns to school, as well as cycling for my own health, fitness and enjoyment.