Arsene Wenger in his last conversation with Alex Ferguson asked if he could borrow his watch for the game against Reading.

Got back from work and have just finished listening to the Arsenal game.  What a game.  4-0 down before half time, thank god Theo scored just before the break.  And then thanks to some dodgy decisions from the referee (again) we not only had all our players on the pitch, but also scored in the last minute of time added on, when the added on time should have finished a minute ago!

On Saturday we were lucky to win.  QPR played a great game against us only to be undone by a stupid kick and a disaster by the referee in allowing our offside goal to stand.  I do not mean to sound like I am having a go at referee's, they have a hard job to do and the goal was a very untidy one, one where I can understand how the offside was missed.  It makes a change to get decisions going for us.  It will not last, but hopefully, I will be able to remember these occasions when it comes to the times when decisions do not favour us.

When it comes to the kids, they are on half term now.  Which is great as today I got to have lunch with them and of course, my son gets to wind down.

When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.

Evening all. Have been to watch Madagascar 3 with the family today. I have to say I was dreading it, but I liked it. Not the end, it had become much to sentimental by that point, but all in all, it was a good film. Loads of laughs both for adults and children and true to the way films should be, a fun film for all the family. Each one of us liked a different character the most, my son liking Mort the small big eyed creature, much like the bushbaby toys that he loves. Me, I loved the King! It is the begining of the half term holidays now. Which is a welcome break from school. My daughter has been doing well during the last few weeks, and to be fair, so has my son, but at the end of each day he has been very emotional and tired and this has got worse as the half term has gone on. This week, away from school is going to be a much needed and well deserved break for the two of them. I am not too sure what my wife has planned for the two of them, but I suspect that they will have a good week away from school and should be back quite rested and ready to impress Father Christmas with how good they are. Anyway, time to post some of the songs from Madagascar 3 and I hope you like the jokes.
I told my blonde girlfriend my grandad was a kamikaze pilot.
She can't wait to meet him.

I currently own a system that is 14 times better than Windows 8.
I call it Windows 7.

I was up every hour during last night... to put the clock back at every 2am

The UK is officially out of recession. Or to put it another way, the start of a treble dip recession.

I have to say I am so proud of the children today. I think that they have done really well. This week I went to a parents day. The kids are amazing. My daughter and her use of language when it comes to they way she writes amazes me. And my son when it comes to maths just blows me away with how good he is for his age. I know that both are good at maths and at reading, but the ability that they both showed was breathtaking. The only thing that they need to improve on is the handwriting that they appear to have got from me!

I phoned the doctor and said, "I blew my nose and now my vision is all blurred. What should I do?" "Stop cleaning your glasses with your hanky," he replied.

Evening all. All tired out. My Mum and by two brothers were up yesterday. Well, my mother was actually up on Friday, my two brothers coming up on Sunday.  The kids loved it.  Especially as my daughter ended up with three Nerf guns.  One fires discs, one already is now in next door neighbours garden.  The other two fires bullets.  So yesterday I was the target.  And some of the bullets stick to clothes.  Which they loved even more.  Now, I can understand the kids loving shooting me, but my two brothers did as well.  To be fair, they owe me.  Of the two, one fine moment I remember was when I got the cat to run up my brothers leg.  We was wearing jeans, and it was a kitten.  Still hurt.  I laughed, and he did not talk to me for two days, so double result back them.  Now, if my kids tried that well, I would be angry to say the least.  Of course, we would need a cat first which is not possible as my wife starts wheezing around them.

Today, it was a birthday party.  My daughter loved having loads of people around, and Steff and Nonsense were great.  She says that seven is the oldest she refers doing a party for, and the kids were a lot more aware that somethings can be tricks.  But they loved the show, she was great with them, ending with a series of songs that we all danced to.  As the parents of the kids came in to pick their klids up saw when YMCA was on!

Anyway, I am not going to mention the football but insead am going to get ready to go to bed.

Felix Baumgartner seems like a very down to earth guy

The title is a reference to the jump by Felix Baumgartner to earth. A long way up, taking ages to get there, and ten minutes later, he is on the ground. And no, I have not watched it. Yet.

I survived the day. I was was knackered. Though if that was due to a late night on Friday and Saturday as opposed to spending time with the kids remains to be seen. It was good to have them to myself though. Not that I did much. After my wife left (I could not tell if she was laughing and rubbing her hands with glee) I just relaxed and was a bad father, letting the kids watch television. My excuse is that there was a lot of Spiderman episodes taped and I needed to clear space on the Sky box and I am going to stick to it. The both parties were great. The first one really was one my son was meant to go to, but my daughter, along with a few other children from her year were invited. As one mother of a child in my daughters year was saying that she needed something more sophisticated for her birthday, the two girls cycled past on some tricyles. There was a great bouncy castle which I did not get to go on (just to check it was safe for the children) as well as lost of soft play. But it was a 5th birthday party. When it came to feeding the kids, I helped a little bit, but lots of kids gave me wary looks, after all, some strange man is offering them sweets and they have been told to say no to strangers! During this time, I helped guard a door from a boy and a girl who wanted to leave the crowd and play elsewhere. The boy even punched me in the stomach in an attempt to let me open the door! Some kids eh?

Afterwards, it was to Colchester Zoo for the party that my daughter had been invited to. I took my son to see various animals. He was just interested in the big park near the entrance to the park, but soon took to seeing the different animals and even got to feed an elephant! With going to school, he has been more aggressive in the evenings recently and this has resulted in a few arguments. Today was a great day for the two of us to bond together. I think that happened and hopefully, one day he will remember the time that he spent with me there. Fortunately my wife arrived at home soon after we got home. I had allowed the kids to gorge themselves on the sweets and cake that they had been given and she got back before the sugar rush made them high. All in all, despite not seeing my wife as much as I would like, it was a good day.

Alan Pardew has told his Newcastle United players to forget all about the club's new sponsorship deal with Wonga.com. He's told them to just get on the pitch and give it 4107%.

Doomed. That is what I am. The kids are to go to a party this morning. Well, my son is, I am allowed to take my daughter as well. And then I am going to another one for my daughter. And my wife is away for the day. Doomed I say.

My wife doesn't think she can trust me. Well that's what my girlfriend told me.

Evening all.  Just a quick post before I go to bed.  My wife has had the bookgroup round.  Which meant I was banished upstairs with the computer, beer and football!  What a shame, have to get her to get the book group round more.
At work, I have seen two people who cheated on their partners and now Karma has appeared to bite both hard.  The moral of this week is never cheat on your partner.
The kids have been good, within limits.  My son is very tired when he gets back from school and screaming ensues when it comes to putting him to bed.  It takes a lot of patience not to snap back, but to be fair, it is not his fault.  My daughter was very proud for getting a reward in class for being kind.  And playing football today, she scored loads of goals.  All in all, a good week.  Take care all.

A young hot couple had a perfect marriage. one day the husband leaves his phone at home and not one to miss an opportunity, the wife has a look at it, and to her dismay, she finds dirty messages from her husbands secretary. She was curled up on her bed crying when the maid found her and asked her whats wrong
"My husbands cheating on me with his secretary!"
The maid was appalled, "The lying git! he told me it was over with her!"

A husband and wife are in bed together. In her sleep the wife yells quick my husbands home. Her husband jumps out the window.

Kopapa review

It has been a busy day today.  I had the flu jab on Thursday, felt ill yesterday and had not recovered fully this morning.  And we had to get up early.  I had a course in London and then we were to meet up with my family for a late lunch.

First of all, the late lunch, and then I will talk about everything else. My wife picked Kopapa and we made the decision to eat there last night. We rang for a table, and although they did not have one for seven, they literally squeezed us in at the time we wanted (well, half an hour late) which was really good of them. When we got there, I have to say my first impressions were not that good. The service was lacking and it took time to get the menu's. But the food came quickly and while my wife was not 100% happy with hers, I loved my choice. This applied to both my main course as well as my pudding. The thing that makes me think that they were short staffed was the attention we were given once the restaurant was starting to become less busy. Then the same staff had the time to give us the attention which, to be fair, was lacking when we arrived.  When I have eating places where the service is poor because the staff do not care, it does not matter if they are busy or quiet.  Here, once the staff had the time, then we got great service.  So all in all, while this review may come across as being negative, I do not intend it to be.  I would recommend eating here and I would be more than happy to return.

Anyway, the kids went to the British Museum.  A brave decision on the part of my wife considering that she has not been that well in the last few days, and in addition to this, my son was been knackered and very ratty at the end of each school day.  The kids have been there before and did love it when they were there before.  As my son was knackered, while they enjoyed bits of it, my son, bless him, was not able to enjoy it as much as he did previously.  Meeting up with my family was great as well.  As noted, while there were things about the meal that could have been better, it was a very enjoyable experience and one which was family friendly.  The kids got to spend time with both my brothers as well as my Mum, and she loved buying them things.  They do not just love her for the presents that she buys as they love it as she spends time playing things with them, the joy on their face when she gets them things is almost as great as the joy on hers as she sees how much they love them (and her).  The kids, when they are lifted onto my brothers love being able to look down on me, which reminds me, I have to ban that...

What's Abu Hamza's least favorite Eddie Murphy movie?  Coming to America. It concerns me that I can't fly to Ireland with a pair of tweezers in my bag, yet Abu Hamza can fly halfway around the world with a huge hook attached to his arm.