An Iphone 5 user walks into a bar... or was it a bank... or was it a hotel. They're not sure really.

Right, since the last post on the kids, they have played another game of football.  They both liked it this time, though my son has this urge to pick up the ball and run with it...

On the weekend, took them to see my mother and my wife's parents.  While at my Mum's they have a great time with her, and also with Dougal, the dog.  When I say dog, I mean horse.  He is huge.  You could put a saddle on him and get the kids to ride him.  My daughter has always been nervous of him.  When she was a baby and we brought her round to the house, he had to be shut in the kitchen as otherwise he would have licked her to death.   He barked, after all, he wanted to see everyone and did not want to be in the kitchen away from everyone else.  She cried.  He barked to let her know he was there to protect her.  She cried more.  He barked louder...  You can see where I am going.  Anyway, the relationship between the two has stayed the same.  He loves her and wants to lick her, she screams...  My son sat on my brother when there and played with Dougal.  She wanted to, and we did try to kick the ball.  My son did it, but my daughter kept hesitating, which meant that Dougal would pick it up, which made her nervous as she did not want him to bite her leg by accident (which he would never do).  But, she did get to play with my mothers cat. She loved making it purr and I think, to the horror of my cat allergic wife, that my daughter is going to be a cat person!

Anyway, also spent time with the in-laws.  They are great at making me feel welcome, and they lvoe the kids as well.  The kids played hide and seek, my mother-in-law hid too well and ended up having to make it very easy for them to find her by sitting on a chair.  Only even then they could not find her!

At school today, my son, who I am trying to teach non-violence to was attacked by a girl who was hitting his head against concrete.  Something that she had been doing to other kids.  Apparently.  That will be sorted out tomorow I think.  My daughter had a teachers evening were us parents got to find out what the basic plans are for the up coming year.  For the record, she is better than the picture above when it comes to writing.

Anyway, time to go.  I hope you like the jokes below.

Liverpool signed Fabio Borini who spent 2011 at Swansea when they were in the Championship. They also signed Jonjo Shelvey from Charlton, who are now in the Championship.
They're just getting a team together ready for next season. 

So John Terry has retired from international football..
The only internationals he'll now be appearing in are his Chelsea team mates wives.

Lukas Podolski "I'm thinking of getting an Arsenal tattoo"...
That'll be a bit awkward when he goes to Man City next year.

The new iPhone 5 is great news for Liverpool supporters.
They can see where they're on the table without scrolling down.

John Terry retires from international football to spend time with other players families