What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Hello all.  Again.  As promised, a second post for today, but this one is going to have to be a rant on football.  As some of you know, I am an Arsenal fan, and this week, we drew against Man 5hi++Y.  Alex Ferguson, must have been splitting his sides laughing as not only did Arsenal fail to pick up three points, but The Scum and Chelski both lost as well.  Well, it is good to know that at least one Arsenal player thinks that ManUre can be caught, but I suspect that the title is already in the hands of ManUre.  Now it is second place to play for, unless you are Chelski who are trying to finish in the qualification places for the European Cup.  Anyway, if you want to watch the highlights, there are on this link, at least for a short period of time. 

For those who like music, try this.



And for those who want a laugh...

A young blonde Portsmouth girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Gun Wharf Quay. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by.

'You're not thinking of jumping, are you, babe?' he asked.

'Yes, I am' replied the sobbing girl.

Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge.

'Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for Australia tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found'.

The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn.

Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation.

The girl came clean, 'I've stowed away to get to Australia. One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me.'

The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied ....


.... 'He certainly is, love. This is the Isle of Wight Ferry.'