As those who follow my blog know, I share many views on gender identity with JK Rowling. Up until recently, I would argue that she is not transphobic. Until she made her tweet about India Willoughby.
I do not consider TransWomen to be women. I do not consider TransMen to be men. Women are women, men are men, TransMen are TransMen and TransWomen are TransWomen.
The distinction has been made when it comes to many sports as TransWomen are seen by many to have an unfair advantage over women. Not everyone agrees with this but the provision of an open category which non-binary individuals can compete in is a step forwards and should be more available. Many consider there to be over 100 gender identities, again an issue which not all agree with, but taking this into account, it is only fair to include them in sport while protecting biological sex.
I know many hate pronouns, but it is polite to refer to someone by their preferred pronouns. I think it is wrong to ensure all make their preferred pronouns known, but I have no issue with someone letting us know how they would like to be referred to. If someone wants to be called Ms rather than Mrs or Miss, I respect that. I do not refer to Boris Johnson as Alexander (his given name) as he prefers Boris. There are many examples of other names. So when JK Rowling refers to a TransWoman as a man, that is rude and also inflammatory.
DNA has to be respected, but within limits, so should identity. Rachel Dolezal, identified as black despite not being so. I do not respect the way she identifies as such. Genetically, it can be argued that our King is not English due to his father being born in Greece and the large amount of German DNA from his mother, but he is British. Bukayo Saka is English and British by birth, but I doubt he forgets that he is also Nigerian.
Working to find the least unfair answer to the non-binary issues that gender identity brings up involves trying to be the better person and not giving into hate.