Well, that was bizarre.
It was the funeral of my father today. With numbers limited due to COVID, only a few people could come. I saw some aunts and uncles from my fathers side of the family who I had seen at the funeral of my stepmother but also some cousins who I have not seen in years.
My brother (who had continued to keep in touch with him) organised the funeral and was under a lot of pressure to make it a religious one. Due to this, it was a bit religious. I missed the viewing which was at my fathers house (or rather that of his wife as his finances were in a mess). While part of me wanted to take the children to see their grandfather, we were to go to my wife’s parents and she did not wish to expose them to any potential risk of Covid that we would have by going now.
We ate a late lunch at her parents before driving to the crematorium. While I had been dropped off there before, this time, we all went to see it. We arrived earlier than my father, who despite what my mother had said during the time they were together, was not late for his own funeral.
Sadly for my father the service was partly religious and I did not feel suited his needs best. However my brother was under a huge amount of pressure to have a religious ceremony and managed to keep it mostly non-religious. The first person to speak about him spoke about my fathers views on human rights and equality which was quite strange considering my father could be very racist about certain groups of people. When it came to equality he did not seem to believe in equality of the sexes but rather equality for specific groups of men. His heart was in the right place, if you are a wife-beating racist misogynist, and allowing for that, he was a nice man.
I am glad my wife and children came. For my children it was for my fathers family to see them. Seeing some cousins who I had not seen for many years was strange. One my aunts talked to me about my father, but seemed to be unaware of just how bad he was to my mother. Luckily no one talked to be about him being a great man, for I would have found it hard not to correct them.
There were a few good things about my father though. He loved me and my brothers in his own way and did teach me about maths and science. I will treasure the good memories that I have of him, and will try to ensure that part of his legacy is that my children have a lot more nice memories of me when I pass,