Hello. I guess this is a great title considering the game result. A draw. Sad really, considering that we were two goals to one up. I have got all my swear words out. And the team knew that they had to focus. But never mind. I guess. Well I will mind, but I have my kids, who are far more important to me than Arsenal is. And of course my wife. Who also is more important than the football team.
And speaking of the family, my daughter is about the same as she was yesterday. Which is unwell, but still well enough to play about, though she gets tired easily. And in an attempt to stop my son from trying to kill us I took him out for a walk while my daughter was having a nap. He loved having quality time with me. Sad considering that I am going to work tomorrow. The kids have been playing with the Lego and Duplo that they got for Christmas. And of course, being kids, they have been as cheeky as they could get away with. My son of course being the one who is the most cheeky out of the two of them.
Anyway, I have to go. Time to massage my wife's feet. Good night all.
And I hope you find this funny.
Abra-Kebabra: A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Beer Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
Boiler Suit: The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and knowingly, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Breaking the Seal: Your 1st visit to the loos in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Cider Visor: Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
Etch-A-Sketch: Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her breasts simultaneously.
Going For a McShit: Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the loo. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.
Millennium Domes: The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
Monkey Bath
Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
Mystery Taxi: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NBR: No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
10-Pinter: Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
2-Bagger: Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to sleep with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)