Friday, 2 July 2010

If time heals all wounds, why hasn't my leg grown back?

Evening all.  I am home late.  Sorry about no pictures for those that get them.  My internet connection has been an issue on the desktop.  I will see if I get time to fix that tomorrow before I go to work.


Work has been busy for me and I have not had the chance to do everything I have wanted to do as when I have got home, I have been knackered.

And on that topic, twenty eight days to go!

Anyway, I got home today to find that the kids were still up.  My wife telephoned me as my son has taken to not going to bed unless I am at home.  And considering that I did not leave work till 2000 and it takes forty minutes to get home, you can imagine how tired they were.  Let alone me!  But they are adorable and I do love them loads.  My daughter had a day at school this week.  She was worried about it, but when it came to it, loved it.  My wife though, understandably was a bit emotional.  But then, like me, she is knackered which makes things worse.  But my daughter loved it at school.  She does not start till September, but this was a day to break her in gently.  Anyway, I hope you like the song below.  Me, I am going to sleep.

 




The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW.