Well, it has been a week or more since I last posted. I have been ill, tired or busy. So sorry.
Got home last week on Tuesday to find that the kids were being put into the bath. My son, naked was screaming a bit, so I picked him up to hold him. Just as well. He gave me a very nice hug, and then did a wee on me. Just as well I had got back from work rather than going out. And I guess it could have been worse. And as it went on me, and soaked into my clothes, hardly any went onto the floor, which made things easier to clean up.
On Wednesday, Lynn came round, which both kids loved. They love her loads and my daughter spent time talking to her, and talking to her, and talking to her, and talking to her, and did I mention that she was talking to her? My son who can not talk spent time with her as well handing her various items he felt that she should hold!
And on the weekend, it was a trip down to see my Father-in-law as it was his birthday. He loved having the kids round. There were balloons on the door which both kids loved. And cake, and jelly.
As for me, I managed to watch the Arsenal match where we beat Blackburn 6-2. But Blackburn did not really play that well and had a penalty turned down which they should have got. Such matches are frustrating for me as I am an Arsenal fan of old and am used to clean sheets. If we had played a half decent team, we would have been beaten as Blackburn did not press us, gave us too much time on the ball and we are really bad at defending. But at least I also got to watch the highlights of the Ukraine-England match. Not live, but highlights afterwards thanks to the BBC.
Anyway, have to go now. Hope you like the joke...
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.
I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.